Post # 1
So my mom and I have actually floated through the sea of wedding planning rather peacefully. We had a few battles, but that was before we got everything straightened out with my birth mother, so now we’re good.
Until now. My mom has decided (for whatever reason) to take a stand on the music at my wedding. She has declared that having recorded music is tacky and asking my baby sister (who is 17) to play the wedding march is unfair.
Here is what i want. I want the pre-ceremony music to be a recorded mix of classic music, very light and summery, as we are getting married at a historical property. I think its fitting. Then I want my BM’s to walk down the aisle to a karaoke recording of Taylor Swift’s ‘White Horse’. (Not a very inspired wedding song, I know, but the background music is beautiful. Beautiful.) Then I want my sister to play the wedding march on her trumpet. She loves the idea, she’s not very girly, so this is a way that she can contribute to my wedding without having to act excited about flowers or dresses or color schemes. I had planned on having her boyfriend sit in the front row and be the one to hand her the trumpet, to help soothe some last minute nerves. I haven’t decided on recessional music yet, mainly because this discussion has me so frustrated I don’t know what to do.
My Mom wants to hire a band (seriously) to play at my ceremony. Mind you, a band is lovely, and for the right person/ceremony ideal, but we are not string quartet kind of people. And I love the idea of having my Chickenlitte playing my wedding march.
What do you think? Advice? Remember, this is a budget wedding. I mean, all I have left to find is cupcakes and pies, and we’ve only spent $1700. For reals. Of course, military discounts help too!
Post # 3
I’m partial to sisters since I have three. Go with your "Chickenlittle". 🙂
Post # 4
My brother and sister are playing in our wedding, and they’re only 6 and 9. They’ve been taking lessons since they were 4, so they’re really good, and they’re very excited. And we’re doing canned music for the rest, probably loaded straight from my IPod through a laptop into the sound system. It seems silly for her to be putting her foot down on this. If it’s important to you (and it sounds like it is), I’d say go with the plan. It sounds great!
Post # 5
Is your mother proposing to pay for the band? Do you get to help pick the band? Does your mother have any idea what a band costs? (In general, even just for the short time of the ceremony, it’s not cheap. Probably at least 1/4 of what you’ve spent so far.) And if you hire a band, can you get anything like the music you want?
We had a band – it was a little combo that does popular music and jazz, and they were awesome – mostly because they could play whatever we wanted, as long as we gave them a little time to learn it. For the ceremony we had just the keyboards and vocals, but for the reception they had a horn section too.
If you can find the right combo, it might be really great to have your sister play with them. (But probably not string quartet with trumpet, if you know what I mean.) I also think that having your sister play alone would be very cool, and there is nothing at all wrong with recorded music. I have been to lots of weddings that used recorded music, and usually it was really fun, as they made great choices of songs.
FYI – I didn’t even tell my mom what music we were using before the wedding, as I knew she would have a fit. Moms can be like that.
Post # 6
Chicken little… how sweet!
If you want your sister to play, and she wants to play, I don’t understand why mom would have a problem. Is she concerned it won’t sound professional? What a nice opportunity to let her shine. (I know it’s your day and all.) I feel like mom’s going to squash little sis’s feelings. And what a perfect way for sis to be involved when she’s not into all the Bridesmaid or Best Man stuff.
Post # 7
I don’t even think this is close….definitely go with your idea! It’s economical, it includes your sister (I was 16 and played violin at my brother’s wedding!), and has meaning to you. I would stick to your guns on this.
Post # 8
I had my sister sing at my wedding. While it was extra work for her, she was happy to do it and it made everything so much more special!
Post # 9
This is totally irrelavent: but I smiled when I saw you use the word tacky- and I couldn’t help but think there should be like a ‘where’s waldo’ kind of thing where there is a "tacky" count on weddingbee. Just a silly random thought. Nothing more… It’s like the word of the month or something… ;o)
Aside from that. I think you should do what you want regardless of whether your mom is paying for it or not. It’s almost like people think they can override your decision by saying "I will pay for it" (sorry, a personal gripe inserted… right now my mom is saying if we go over the guest count she will pay for her friends plates… and my sister who is saying ‘i want my two friends and boyfriend at the wedding- if you can’t afford them to come, I will pay for them too!") Sometimes it isn’t even about affording it- it’s just simply not what you wanted.
Have you talked to your sister to see what she thinks she would mind doing in the myriad of options? Has she shrugged her shoulders and say "I don’t mind playing with a band" or "Whatever you decide sis!"
Post # 10
I think having your sister play would be a very special contribution to your special day from her! But only if she wants to do it!
Is it possible to appease your mom and your ideas by having a pianist (ask a local church to give you a good reference – most of these people will play for free or very little and usually have been playing in front of large groups for years and usually it is easy to find a friend with a keyboard) to play a few pieces before and after the ceromony while you get to have the songs that are special to you played as well.
Sorry I am a people pleaser!
Post # 11
Your mom would have hated my wedding! The ceremony was all recorded music except one song sung by two former studnets of mine (both 18).