- 4 years ago
UGH! I could really use some advice on how to handle this. As my title says, my mom has now been catfished! TWICE! In a couple months’ time! This might get a little long, so I apologize.
First a little background…. My parents divorced after 25 years of marriage 8 years ago. My dad immediately married his mistress, and my mom has been single since. My mom is 58. She isn’t super super internet savy and she doesn’t use it for work, but she has had Facebook for at least 5 years and uses an iphone, ipad, laptop, etc.
Sometime in November, some “guy” sent her a random Facebook message and friend request (I didn’t find out about this until a few weeks ago), apparently my mom doesn’t know better and accepted the friend request and continued to respond to private messages, emails and texts from the guy for a couple months. He claimed he was stationed in Afghanistan, but told her he loved her and even sent some stupid picture of himself holding up a sign that said, “Marry me (mom’s name)” with an Afghani background. She finally caught on at this point and said she, “felt like she won the lottery, but realized she didn’t even buy a ticket”… she started doing a little looking into things and realized all of his Facebook friends were females between 55-70. She finally messaged one of them and asked how they knew the guy…. They responded back telling my mom they met on Facebook, but were falling in love blah blah blah.
At least she caught on, but the whole situation made her come to the realization that she was “ready to date” and wanted to meet someone. She knew my BF and I met years ago on a dating website, and decided that is what she wanted to do. My mom lives about 3 hours from me, but my best friend lives near her and is close with my mom. My friend helped my mom set up a profile and gave her some general instructions and offered to be my mom’s wing man when needed.
My mom quickly met several local guys that she would meet for a drink or coffee. One she saw a couple times, and said she liked him. She seemed to be enjoying herself, so I was happy for her. She then texted me some picture telling me it was going to be her next date and she liked him so much more than the others she had met. I asked her when she was going to meet him for a drink and she said, “it’s a long story, call me”
When I call her she starts telling me how perfect this guy is and that she, “can’t eat, can’t sleep, she is just head over heels in love, and she never even knew what love was before (hello… you were married for 25 years and have talked to this guy for a couple of days!)” As she is giving me details about this guy… including the fact he lives out of state, about 2.5 hours away, I get a really bad feeling. I told her to send me the info she has on him so I can do a little research. Here is some of what I have found:
- Nothing on Facebook, Linked In (he told her he works in “telecommunications” which sounds very vague), Yellow Pages, etc.
- When I google various paragraphs from his emails, I find 100 results on dating profiles around the country (using different pictures and names, but same exact words) For example: “honesty, trust and mutual respect are the pillars of my relationship and life philosophy. i like to play with open cards. no games, lies, tricks and double life” There are numerous others examples.
- His phone number is a google voice phone number
- He claims to have a 24 year old daughter who lives near him… no Facebook with anyone with her name near there
Anyhow… I’m 100% certain he is fake. Meanwhile my mom thinks she is driving 2.5 hours to spend next weekend with him. I told her even if he is real that isn’t safe. After sending her the information I found, including 100s of examples of where the exact same words appear on tons of different dating profiles and scam sites.
She is making excuses for everything!
No Facebook or Linked In…she says not everyone in their 50’s has this…yeah maybe.
The 100s of verbatim paragraphs from his emails… maybe he is new to online dating and isn’t good at coming up with something original to say…so what he plagiarized a few things in between, did you find his pictures anywhere else or the personal details like family members names.
His phone number is a google voice number…. He is in telecommunications and travels to Europe frequently maybe a google number just works better for him. He has called me from it and we have talked numerous times
I want my mom to be happy, I really really do, but am I wrong in saying this guy is without a doubt fake? I’ve sent her proof that she doesn’t want to see and is ignoring… is there anything else I should do, or just sit back and let her wait and get hurt on her own.