Post # 1
Key word, annoying, not pissing me off. This isn’t a huge deal I just need to get it off my chest. My mom feels the need to listen to everything that everyone says about my wedding. If someone outside of our family has an idea or doesn’t like an idea then they are absolutly right in her mind and we should do exactly what they say. I’m not very far into wedding planning but it seems like everytime she hangs out with a friend of hers or just sees them out in the world she gets a new idea about MY wedding. And the kicker is, I have not liked a single idea she has come home with but aparantly I’m grumpy and stupid for not just loving the idea of having my 9 year old cousin walk down the aisle with a sign that says “Here comes the bride.” Because aparently it is the cutest idea ever and no one else has thought of it. And I guess if all my purples don’t match perfectly it’s going to look stupid. O and god forbid I try to match bridesmaid dresses to my beaded flowers and not the other way around. I get that she is excited and has all these ideas but since when is everyone else’s opinions more important than mine? I don’t even think she really thinks about my ideas until someone has a conflicting idea. It is ANNOYING and want her to stop. I think we will have a conversation next time she comes home with a “great” idea.
O and PS do you ever say or think of a word so much it stops sounding like a word? Like right now I have no idea if “idea” is an actual word LOL
Bees who is annoying you and what the heck are they doing that needs to stop???
Post # 2
hahaha this made me laugh…. “O and PS do you ever say or think of a word so much it stops sounding like a word? Like right now I have no idea if “idea” is an actual word LOL<br /><br />Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/my-mom-is-annoying-me/#ixzz34R3gUsHZ
Just playing devils advocate maybe she thinks she is helping by “opening your mind up” to something you may not have thought of. That being said, I get how its still super annoying. Just talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel. Ask her if she values your opinion. If she says yes ask her why she keep overriding everything you want/ suggest with something someone else suggests. Ask her if she wants YOU to be happy on your wedding day. I’m sure the answer is yes. Sometimes mom just have a hasrd time letting go. She could see this as the last time she gets to be greatly involved in something in your life since you are getting married and starting a “new” life with your hubby.
Post # 3
I know through hindsight that telling people about an engagement and letting them be in on the planning is a huge mistake. Best plan is to keep engagement between couple, plan what the two of you want, and then send out invitations (telling close family in person just before invitations are mailed). That’s the first everyone will hear of it, and then it’s a done deal. If there are any complaints, you only hear about them for a few months.
When I became engaged, I immediately wanted to share it with friends, a couple of whom proceeded to tell me what I had to do.
Maybe just say, “Hmmm….that sounds interesting.” Then do whatever you want. Talk to her less often. Not sure what else.
Post # 4
alyssaC: So last night, my mom and I are having a lovely time at the Christmas Tree Shop, looking for mason jars and candle things and accessories for my very autumnal, rustic barn wedding. To my knowledge, she’s been on board with this “theme” FOR 6 MONTHS NOW.
On the way home, I mentioned how I have to get our deejay a list of some country songs b/c though he’s an amazing party dj, he’s not versed in country. LIKE A LIGHTSWITCH she goes, “Can you NOT bore your guests with country music?”
I said, “What do you mean ‘BORE’??” She proceeded to tell me that we’re the only ones who like country and what kind of country can you dance to? First of all, I only planned on playing a few country love songs during cocktail hour and dinner. Secondly, SHE LIKES COUNTRY MUSIC!!! What the hell are you talking about!??
I got defensive, and it turned into her saying, “Why does everything have to be country? It’s a wedding, can’t you infuse a little class into it?”
She’s not keen on our BBQ menu, but we’re not talking hot dogs and hamburgers, we’re having slow smoked pork, brisket, chicken, etc. EVERYONE is excited about it b/c for where we live, it’s very different. And, WE LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!
I decided to brush off her comments, but it’s tough b/c she did contribute quite a bit of money to us…c’est la vie, I suppose!!!!!
Post # 5
alyssaC: My mom was the same way…I learned that sometimes you just have to choose your battles. I did notice in your post you kept using terms like “my wedding”…try using “our wedding”… that tiny word change resignated with my mom because she started to take into account its TWO people getting married, not just me…so over all it really helped her back off a little bit.
Post # 6
alyssaC: My mom’s being the annoying one too. She keeps insisting on certain things that FI and I don’t want -ie: we’re signing for an outdoor, beautiful venue, she wants a church wedding; we want under 75 people, she keeps adding only her family to the guest list and telling me to decrease the amount of my dad’s side and my friend list (I don’t even like her side of the family, and I see them maybe once a year); my very petty younger sisters HAVE to be involved directly in the wedding in all important details (one just turned 14, the other is 11. No – they don’t get to be bridesmaids, as I don’t want that many, and they’re really just very immature. No – I don’t want flower girls, plus they’re a wee bit old for that in my opinion. No – they don’t get to be in charge of decorating, because they fight about literally everything and honestly I don’t want to worry about them forgetting something or ruining something, because it’s very possible they will and they have before). It’s very frustrating. Plus, my mom never wants to talk to me about wedding things and has pretty much ignored everything about it UNLESS it conflicts with her personal vision of it, and then holy hell breaks loose. I’ve just given up discussing it with her, though it does hurt that my mother could not give a crap about my FI’s and my wedding. Thank god for my grandma and my godmother who both are full of helpful wisdom and are just happy to talk about anything!
Post # 7
My mom is annoying me too! I have a younger sister who is 20 years younger than me (I know, it’s weird) and my mom is more excited that my little sister will be a flower girl than that I will be a bride! She called the other day and asked if I would be paying someone to come do my hair and makeup at the venue, and I said no, that I was taking care of it beforehand in town and she was like, “Well, then who is going to curl your sister’s hair? She can’t just have messy hair. We are going to have this pictures forever.”
Um, maybe YOU can do your OWN DAUGHTER’S HAIR. Because she is THREE and does not need a professional hairstyle!
Post # 8
What is with moms? I love mine so much and we are so close but man can she get on my nerves! Today we had a good sit down. I said “Mom I love that you are so excited and I know you just love everyone’s ideas so much but can we agree that from now on if I don’t like an idea you won’t act all butthurt. FI and I have a vision and we really want to stick to it. Please keep bringing me ideas, I love the help but just know that we won’t use/like all of them. You have to remember that it is mine and FI’s wedding and it should have everything we want in it, I want you to be happy too, you just don’t have the most important opinion when it comes to our day.” She seemed to take it all really well and wasn’t too upset, especially when I started talking about FI like meowmeow071914: mentioned. I will just keep my fingers crossed and hope that the next time she brings home an idea I’m not affraid to tell her I hate it. Or maybe I will just love it and this won’t be a problem.
ezasabc123: I’m glad it made you laugh, it still sounds weird to me today. I just keep having to use it in conversation and it has just lost all meaning!