- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
My mom is 53 and has been on kidney dialysis for 6 years. The kidney disease was caused by a rare autoimmune disease she was diagnosed with when I was about 5, and those health problems have led her to have SEVERAL procedures, surgeries, and other health problems over the years that have caused a lot of external scars, etc.
Over the last few weeks she’s voiced some concerns (and even shed some tears) about how badly she feels about her body and her appearance and told me she’s worried about what she’s going to look like at my wedding.
I feel SO bad. I don’t think my mom looks sick at all, especially compared to a lot of other sick people I’ve seen. But I just don’t know what to tell her or what suggestions to make on what she can do with her hair/makeup/or what she could wear that will make her feel beautiful again.
I’m going to give a rundown of her appearance just to help if anyone has any suggestions:
* Her hair is “boy short” and VERY straight and limp. Stress, medications, etc. has caused a lot of thinning in the back which she HATES. No product, hairstyle, etc has helped thicken it.
* her skin is a bit more “yellowed” than most people because of the kidney problems, and while I’ve seen MUCH worse, it’s sort of obvious when she’s next to healthy people. She also has some yellow spots in the whites of her eyes.
* She has several scars on her neck and upper chest/shoulder area from procedures, plus a large cathetar and bandage around the same spot for the dialysis. The only time you CAN’T see the cathetar is if she’s, like, wearing a turtle neck or hoody.
* She also has several scars on her arms from procedures/surgeries. She also had a really bad infection that caused a lot of bad breakouts all over her body that left bad scars.
* Her torso/chest are teeny, tiny — almost delicate. She barely has A cup breasts.
* Her lower half (butt, legs, feet, ankles) are much, much larger. This is partly due to the steroids they had to treat her with when the disease was first diagnosed, and partly because that’s just where she carries the fluid that her body can’t get rid of.
She can’t exactly work out or “lose weight” because of her health problems. She’s actually at a relatively healthy weight, all things considered.
* Her feet are constantly in pain because of the fluid in them so it’s extremely hard for her to find shoes. Even the ones she has, she can only wear for a short period of time. Sandals are out of the question – any kind. 99% of dress shoes are too.
Again, I think my mom looks great. And I think she should be proud of her scars b/c it shows how tough she is and that she’s a survivor. And I could care less if she wears sweat pants to my wedding. But I do want her to feel good/beautiful again because it’s been so long since she’s dressed up or even worn any makeup.
So if anyone has any suggestions, we would really appreciate it. Thanks!