- 5 years ago
Just a warning, this is going to be long…
I don’t know what to do at this point! My mom is making my life hell. We generally don’t get along very well-we disagree on most things. Not to say one way is right or wrong, but since it is our wedding, we should be able to have it how we want it. But she doesn’t see it that way. I told her from day one, she does not have to pay for anything but she keeps insisting she wants to pay for my dress and the reception-but now I know at what cost. To have it all the way she wants it. She thinks theres a set way a wedding should be and how its done and if not the wedding police will come and arrest you! Lol Seriously tho, everytime I mention something its immediately she doesn’t like it or its ridiculous or weird, etc etc etc.
For example, my mom doesn’t drink because my dad was an alcoholic (they are long divorced-I don’t even know him) and her failed marriage has affected her life to this day – even tho it was 30 yrs ago. I told her we were going to have a bar at our wedding, nothing huge just a few different options (beer, margaritas, etc)…and she said “If you are going to pump people full of alcohol you have to provide everyone a ride home” What world is she living in?????
She thinks we are going to have a shot drinking contest or something? We are all adults and I don’t need to babysit everyone who has a drink at dinner. She thinks im “so weird” for having my wedding outside (in an arboretum) not in a church and she would “never do something like that”
Today I told her my fiancé (whose basically had no say in the wedding) said he wants a photobooth-which we would DIY cuz we are on a budget and of course she hated it. She said “those are only for carnivals not weddings” She thinsk a wedding should be in a hotel ballroom with the same cookie cutter wedding décor you see everyday… my problem is, I hate that stuff. I have worked in the wedding industry for 8+ years and have a lot of experience with them-but she seems to think I don’t know anything about anything and im still a child. I am 29 years old and will be 31 when we get married….my fiancé is 34… we are both adults here.
I had told her awhile ago I wanted to have mason jars as the flower vases and she said “what is this a country hoedown!?!?! How tacky!” then a week later she tells me how she saw on TLC they had mason jars and they were so cute and I should do that! ……………God help me please!
I also said today I didn’t want to put the regular old “daughter of so and so and son of so and so” on the invitation and she went off! Saying I was embarrassed of her and only wanted her money and wouldn’t let her help with anything BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA.
Now the thing is this, I am her only daughter but I cant let her live thru me. I don’t want to end up with a wedding I hate….I am a very detail oriented person and love to plan things. Today she said she needs the guets list and she will send the invitations and she will get the RSVP’s because shes the host of the whole thing. WHAT? I also told her we need a friend (I have one who does this professionally) to be a wedding day of coordinator to do all the stuff we cant-make sure everything implemented, help decorate, meet vendors etc. Apparently that means I hate my mom…. Her words. Everytime I mention something she says “I will do it and save money” …so far her list of things shes going to do is this:
- Decorate the reception/ceremony
- Make the guest book
- Man the guest book
- “host” the reception-whatever that means
- Put the buffet food out
- Make the late night snacks
- Meet all the vendors when they need to be met
- Make the punch – still no clue what this is
- Make my veil
- Help me get ready
- Move the chairs from the ceremony to the reception site
- Clean up after the reception – all by herself
Are you kidding me? Did I mention shes a 65 yr old women with a bad knee and can barely walk and she seems to think she can even decorate the venue alone??? What is wrong with her!?!?!? UGH!
Its like she wants to do it all herself and im suppose to just sit there and let her have at it…god forbid I have any opinions on my own wedding day.
I know people keep telling me I should just calmly talk to her about it – ive tried, several times. Told her how I feel and its always her going nuts and says mean stuff to me like “you are so rude and you just hate me so much and you are just using me for my money” I NEVER ASKED FOR HER MONEY. In fact I said we do not expect you to pay for it at all.
Now as for the money situation, our wedding is in about a year from now…. We don’t make a lot of money and if we want to move fw with what we had planned, then we are going to have to either be even more poor or take away some of the aspects or possibly move the date back some… But im thinking this will be worth my piece of mind honestly. My mom was going to be paying about $2-3000 and we were going to be at around $4k….so almost splitting it.
IDK WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its only been a few months and i already hate it. Everytime i see a cool wedding idea i love my first thought is “i want to do that” then my second thought is “what will my mom say” and its total dread…..