(Closed) My mom is taking over my wedding any advice would help!!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

well… you shouldn’t have let her do it from the begining… is your dress already paid for? nevermind what she thinks, it’s YOUR dress, YOUR headpiece, YOUR jewelry and YOUR wedding.

Step up!

Post # 4
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have to stand up for yourself and tell her how you feel.  Keep saying it.  It also helps, though, when you’re not accepting her money.  FI and I insisted on paying for everything ourselves because we didn’t want this to happen… once it starts, it’s difficult to stop.  But, even though my mom isn’t paying for anything, she’s still had strong opinions about things.  I just told her no several times and didn’t buy what she preferred.  I don’t want a veil but she and I had a huge fight because she wants me to wear one.  Well I didn’t buy one, so problem solved.  

Your mom will continue to do this as long as you allow it.

Post # 5
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

While I agree you shoukd stand up for yourself (which it seems you already have), you are gonna get the “I’m paying” thing from your mom most likely. If she’s paying, she gets a say unfortunately. I agree she should have let you pick out your own wedding dress (at the very least), but perhaps you should have paid for it then.

This is a tough situation because if you’re not paying then you really don’t get too much say, so the only way to fix that is to pay for stuff yourself.

Are your parents still together? If so, I would maybe ask dad to talk to mom to take her down a few notches.

By the way, keep in mind this is not just your day–the more you think that the faster you will turn into the dreaded “zilla.”

So either:

-Talk to someone close to your mom who can talk some sense back into her
-Pay for your own wedding

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