(Closed) My mom is telling me I need cosmetic surgery

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

awwwww im so sorry youre going through this… i dont even know what to say… ๐Ÿ™ no mother should make their child feel like that. ๐Ÿ™  if you are comfortable with your body tell her so. and tell her to stop pressuring you to get plastic surgery if you dont want to. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Aww hun… I’m so sorry!  No one should hear comments like that EVER, especially from your mom.

Have you told her how hurtful those comments are to you and that you request that she STOP making them immediately?  Tell her that you aren’t comfortable with those comments and that she should support your choices and decisions.  And if that isn’t enough, let her know that it’s not healthy for you to be around people who are critical of your body, so you’ll have to limit contact with her until she stops.  Hell, if my mom was saying crap like that, my Darling Husband would set her straight so fast…

 

Post # 5
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

no wonder women have body image issues right? my mom never told me those things but i saw her struggle with her own weight which made me think about myself and ultimately make me think that i need to worry about it. which i dont. but i have, all my life.

i am so sorry she is putting you through this. you are supposed to lift your children up, not put them down. she needs to keep her opinions to herself. do you tell her that it hurts your feelings?

 

Post # 6
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My mother is amazing. I was raised by the most wonderful loving parents…except for when I order something to eat at a restaurant and she stops the waitstaff from writing it down and says, “Honey you should make a healthier choice” while glancing at my body.

I’m 30 and she has been on me about my wieght my entire life. I have been anywhere from a size 4 to a size 30 during my life (Now a nice 12:) and regardless of how big or small I was she has always given me a hard time about it. I have learned that it’s about her insecurities (perhaps because I have big wonderful breasts) and that’s it. You have to be ok with you and start telling her to back off. She’ll eventually get the hint and you’ll feel stronger standing up  for yourself.

 

Post # 7
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

aw I’m sorry that you’re mom is doing that.  I would STRONGLY suggest talking to your FH about it.  I am sure that he will reassure you that you are perfect the way you are (which is why he is marrying you!)

Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh SouthernGirl I’m so sorry, that is such crap that your mom thinks it is ok to say that to you. You should stand up for yourself and say you and your Fiance love you for who and how you are and she needs to realize your weight is none of her business. Be proud of who you are and don’t let ANYONE tell you that you are any less of a beautiful person because of your weight.

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You should seriously sit her down and tell her that she absolutely has to stop going on about your weight otherwise you will just involve her less and less in your life

Post # 10
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Be a duck, as my mom used to tell me when the mean boys picked on me in middle school.  She’d make this grand swooping motion with her arm and tell me to let it roll right off my back, like water off a duck.  Shake it off, smile, and walk away.

Not literally, maybe, but same idea – tell her decisively that the answer is no and end the conversation, no discussion.  Then think of the things you like about yourself and things you’re excited for about the wedding.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m so sorry and wish there was something more to say. You should really tell your Fiance what she’s saying so he can tell her he loves you the way you are.

Post # 12
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@SouthernGirl: most people who are going to pick on you is due to their own insecurities. i agree with the pp about talking to you FH – you should be able to tell him anything and maybe he can help you overcome your body image issues.

 i feel terrible because no one should have to deal with this kind of abuse, if you dont like me for the way i am then screw you, seriously…i would hope my mother would love me if i was 100 pounds or 300 pounds because its not about how you look, but what kind of person you are. Plastic surgery isnt going to make you any happier.

as long as you are comfortable in your own skin that is all that matters, and women all over the world struggle with body image everyday, the last thing we need is a family memeber to tell us what is right and wrong when it comes to how we look.

your mom is making me angry haha, im stewing in my cubicle.

Post # 13
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hmm when your home… or with your family (mom) that is when you should feel the most comfortable. Im so sorry your going through this!! I would tell your mom how much she is hurting your feelings when she says things like that. She probably just thinks of it like tough love, and doesnt realize how much she is hurting you!! I would let her know for sure and then go ahead and let her know that you are comfortable in your body, and nor you or your Fiance have an issue with your body so she shouldnt either. Dont feel so down, Im sorry that you are going through this!!!

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