(Closed) My mom is upset about my getting married in August: It's her month.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1895 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Wait what?! Your mom shouldnt have any say in when you want to get married. Yes August has meaning to her, but its time to get over that! Maybe you getting married in August will give her a new look on the month. Go with what YOU want.

Post # 4
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@elle_z:  Wowza. Your mother needs to let the past go. She can’t claim a month. Get married when YOU want to. I’m sorry she feels sad, but that’s something she has to work with.

Post # 5
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your mom isn’t freaking out about August.

She’s freaking out that 1. you’re eloping and 2. you’ll be a full-fledged independent adult (regardless of whether you were before now or not, it’s a huge social signal to get married). She is choosing this to cling to to trigger her.

I don’t have a lot of advice other than to stand your ground and do what you want. Weddings are, in large part, about establishing boundaries for a new fledgling family (you and your FI). Stand firm on your choices!

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Nobody owns a month. That’s absurd.

Get married when you want, and when you can swing the logistics with the venue, caterer, officiant, etc. There are SO many more factors that go into setting a date than your mom’s issues! If you want to extend an olive branch, look for a date earlier in August to avoid her actual anniversary, but it’s high time for her to put on her big girl panties.

PS: if you have a pre-determined date and your mom knows about it ahead of time, you’re not actually eloping.

Post # 7
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

August is the unofficial Self Indulgent Mope Fest Month? 

I hate to see people upset, but more than that I abhor a person that actually interferes with other people’s lives and plans JUST because they’re feelings got hurt…that has got to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!

Tell your Mom that it’s August or bust, she can either shape up or shut up and you can sweeten the pot by promising an uniterrupted river of Bryers Ice Cream and boxes of Kleenex to facilitate her moping at some other time.

Post # 8
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Get married in August.

Your mother is being completely selfish and unreasonable. I can understand if she felt a bit awkward if you were getting married on her ACTUAL anniversary, but she does not get to claim a whole month. Seriously, does she have any idea how many weddings happen in August? Sheesh.

Post # 9
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your mother is being ridiculous.  She doesn’t get to claim a month.  Do what you want and hold your ground.

Post # 10
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh wow… I say push forward with it. First of all, its been 10+ years… she needs to get over it. The sooner the better. Your wedding in August is “happy news” for the month of August.

Post # 11
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

Your mom can be an adult and suck it up. 

Post # 12
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@elle_z:  This is totally ridiculous. Seriously?! A whole month?! If after 10 years she needs the whole month to wallow in self pity, she maybe needs to talk to a professional.

I’d try and frame it in a positive way. If she has your happy wedding memories in August now, then she has something happy to focus on.

 

Post # 13
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it was the exact same day as her wedding anniversary, I would tell you to at least be gentle and sympathatic.

This is just crazyness. Get married in August. If she brings it up again, tell her that it is the time that works, doesn’t have anything to do with her, and the topic is closed.

Post # 15
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Nona99:  Tell your Mom that it’s August or bust, she can either shape up or shut up and you can sweeten the pot by promising an uniterrupted river of Bryers Ice Cream and boxes of Kleenex to facilitate her moping at some other time.

Add two snaps and a twist to this!

Post # 16
Member
6215 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@Nona99:  +1. Your mother really needs to take a step back and look at her actions, and how they’re affecting other people and herself. Indulging her will not help her get over her clinging to her past life.

The topic ‘My mom is upset about my getting married in August: It's her month.’ is closed to new replies.

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