Post # 1
So, we met with our officiant today to go over the ceremony. I was planning on having my mom walk me down the aisle because she has raised me and has been there every step of the way throughout my life. I truly feel she deserves the honor and feel more comfortable with it. However, my original plan was to still have my dad walk down the aisle. My parents are divorced and my dad and I don’t have the closest relationship, but I still make an effort to see him once every other month or so. Neither of my parents are remarried and the officiant said it would be really odd and unnecessary to have my dad walk down the aisle alone. I would feel really guilty not having my dad be a part of the ceremony at all and to not include him in the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and all the other wedding activities. I am still doing a father-daughter dance so each of my parents can have a part in our day. I guess I’m just posting to see if it would in fact be odd to have my dad walk down the aisle alone. I can’t be the only bride who has divorced parents who is having her mother give her away, but still wants her dad to be a part of the ceremony. Hopefully, someone out there has some insight.
Post # 2
Why not have them both walk you down the isle together? Then you’re adding an honor to your mom, not taking one away from your dad.
Post # 3
12_Elle : I thought about that, but my parents do not have a good relationship and I think the awkwardness would be written all over my face walking down the aisle. They haven’t seen or spoken to each other in a good decade and have been divorced for 20 years. And I don’t think my mom wants any pictures with my dad haha…
Post # 4
Honestly, as a child who had separated parents (one not involved), I think it would be more odd and it would be a slight to the parent who was actively involved in raising me to defer to the absent parent if you’re choosing to have a parent walk instead of walking by yourself. I personally would opt for no parents before I pick the absentee/less involved parent over the present parent. Especially since you’re doing a father/daughter dance. If you have him walk down the aisle, are you going to change it to a mother/daughter dance?
Can he escort a grandmother down the aisle before the processional instead? Or he doesn’t have to walk during the processional at all. He can already be seated. No one is coming there to see him walk down an aisle anyway. Otherwise, I think having the dance is more than enough. Don’t boot your mom who raised you.
Post # 5
Do you have a grandparent or sibiling he could escort down the aisle? My brother was in our wedding party but he still escorted my mom down the aisle and then circled back around to walk down with a bridesmaid.
But honestly, I don’t see why it would be wierd for him to walk down on his own. Isn’t that what your mom would end up doing if he were walking you down the aisle? Personally, I wouldn’t think anything of it and I’m not sure why your officiant felt the need to make you second guess yourself on this.
Post # 6
annabananabee : I am absolutely sure on having my mom walk me down the aisle. I wouldn’t reverse it to have my dad walk me down and then have a mother-daughter dance. Unfortunately, I have the smallest family ever. All but one of my grandparents have passed and my living, paternal grandfather will not be in attendance, sadly, because he’s 88 and walking, sitting, too long etc. is too difficult for him. My brother and dad have not spoken in 5 years. It’s all very uncomfortable and makes me a little sad.
I’d be fine with just doing the father-daughter dance, but I guess I felt bad not including him in the pre-wedding activities. Thanks for your input 🙂
hikingbride : unfortunately, I don’t have any grandparents who will be at the wedding. My brother is in our wedding party and him and my father haven’t spoken in 5 years either, and it’d be awkward for him to circle around and walk with him. I really didn’t think anything of it for him walking alone especially since the officiant had the option of all the groomsmen being lined up and the bridesmaids walking one by one, aka alone. Eh I might keep it or I also thought of maybe having my dad seated and once my mom and I make it to the end of the aisle, he can come stand with us and when the officiant asks who gives this bride away, they can say “we do.”