Post # 1
My mom just made an offhand remark about how she thinks I was a bit of a bridezilla when going shopping for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses a couple of weekends ago. I am so far from being a bridezilla and that comment really hurt! I am trying to make this as low-key of a wedding as possible and to hear that really makes me angry…. ugh!
Bit of background: I went shopping with my sister (MOH) and 2 BMs, along with my mom and my aunt a couple of weekends ago. I had found a dress online that I really loved
and I thought it was pretty flattering, especially as we’re getting it in marine. My sister saw the dress online the night before we went shopping and decided she didn’t like it. She was rather petulant about it and said she wasn’t going to buy a dress that she didn’t like. Well, of course that just set the tone and I knew that when we went shopping, she was going to say she didn’t like the dress even if she really did love it.
So we go shopping and sure enough, she tries the dress on and says she hates it. She’s short-ish and is self-conscious about a few extra pounds she wants to lose, but this dress really did look awesome on her. My other two BMs, one of whom is a similar size and shape to Maid/Matron of Honor, tried the dress on and loved it! Maid/Matron of Honor of course decided that she liked another dress better. This second dress was ok. Just ok. I liked the top but hated the sash attached to it (sewn in, not easily removed) and did not like the flat front skirt – aside from the fact that it was not as flattering on any of them! The other two BMs were not big fans of the other dress but were willing to go with whatever I wanted.
I really love my original dress and thought it looked great on them; I had told Maid/Matron of Honor beforehand that I would never ask her to buy a dress she looked terrible in but asked her to be a bit flexible. Well, she reluctantly agreed to go with this dress but made it very clear she was not happy in it – but couldn’t say why other than she “liked the other one better”
Now my mom is telling me that because I refused to choose the dress Maid/Matron of Honor liked, I was being a bridezilla! Was I out of line here??? If it truly looked bad on her, I would never have chosen it, but it looked FANTASTIC! And definitely better than the other one on all of them! I’m just really grumpy that mom is calling me a bridezilla because I chose a dress that I love; she thinks I should have gone with what would have made my sister happy. Now I do sound like a bridezilla implying that it’s MY wedding and I’m going to do things MY way! haha, maybe I am a bridezilla!
Sorry this is so long, just had to vent a bit! Thanks for reading!
Post # 3
Its your wedding and ultimately it should be your vision. This dress is a pretty standard style that is generally flattering for most body types. I personally dont understand what their problem is. Are you open to having the moh wearing a different style from the other bridesmaids?
Post # 4
haha my sister has been doing similar, it took forever for me to find a dress that she didn’t think would make her look fat or too short or whatever else I can’t control. She won’t even wear flats, my one real request (because I’m 4’11”) because her arches are too high? And then when I finally found a dress that everyone liked it took her so long to get me the measurements they sold out. My mom is on my side 🙂 But I still try to be nice because of course she’s my sister and I want her to feel pretty too, this is an important day for her too 🙂 Not sure if that’s how it is with yours, but I digress…
Did you already buy the dress? Because my feeling would be to find a different compromise. I’m not trying to push anything on my sister, I can keep searching until we all find one (or several) we like. You’ve got some time yet!
Post # 5
lol i wore that dress in truffle as a bridesmaid! i agree, it is definitely flattering. your sister’s just being a brat – your mom and her need to get over it. but since she IS your Maid/Matron of Honor, she could wear a different style from the others and it wouldn’t look out of place.
Post # 6
No, you’re not being a Bridezilla. Your sister sounds like she’s just being a total B! She went into the appointment will a crappy attitude and like you said, she was set on not liking the dress regardless of how it looked on her. When it comes down to it, its your wedding and your decision. Its not like you are making your girls wear some hideous lime green abomination.
Post # 7
I’ve been in a lot of weddings and have not once wore a dress that I liked, BUT I kept my mouth shut and wore it with a smile for my friend(s). Your sister/friends should do the same. Sounds like you’re taking their feelings into consideration and not just choosing something that you like. It also sounds like THEY are not taking YOUR feelings into consideration.
Post # 8
No you did the right thing. She was the only one that didn’t like it. I had my girls vote and I voted and the dress with the majority won out. I think that is the best way to handle it or you will be searching forever to find a dress that everyone really likes. It is your wedding and it is your vision so that is all that matters.
If it makes you feel any better my mom calls me a Bridezilla all the time over stupidish that doesn’t really make me a bridezilla. She thinks that because I have a vision makes me a bridezilla. This is because she has a different vision for my wedding and doesn’t want to accept that I am going for a vintage feel. Sometimes I think mothers say things without realizing how hurtful they can be.
Good luck and keep your head up
Post # 9
Thanks for all the validation! I was really taken aback by my mom’s comment and am happy to hear that my request doesn’t seem to be out of line! 🙂
I am sort of open to my sister wearing a different dress; however as there are only 3 BMs (including her) I’m not sure how well it will work. I also don’t think the dress she liked really flows with the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I chose; it’s a chiffon/satin combination dress
I’m just not a far of that look and I detest the sash on the side and would want it removed. Too much hassle I think for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress (and no offense out there to anyone who likes chiffon/satin and/or sashes – it’s just not me!)
As mentioned though, we do still have time to go shopping and see if there’s anything she likes better! btw, she really is a lovely person and an amazing sister, despite how it may have come across on here! 🙂
Post # 10
You’re not bridezilla and yes you have a right to want a specific look for your wedding!! I was so worried about my girls liking and reusing their dress that I was making myself sick. So I made the statement that they had to compliment eachother and be the same fabric. That being said, we had a satin group and 2 chiffon groups, one full length and one with high/low hems. I asked each girl to privately email me their choice after I sent them and email with all the dresses they had liked/tried on that I LIKED TOO!!! Turns out, they all liked chiffon and each was able to wear their first choice, just adjusting hem on 2 dresses to fit better with other 2. This actually worked out way better than them talking it out because no one felt pressured to pick a dress. I was fine with not the exact dress as long as they were same color, fabric and looked good.
Your sis can have a different dress as Maid/Matron of Honor but you should be k with the choice not bullied into it. The one thing I’ve always said is, if they look horrible in their dress, it’s my pics that will be ruined….lol….so I have a vested interest in them looking good. Try the private email thing, it really solved my situation and everyone is happy. By The Way, my girls are all sizes and shapes and skin colors, so I didn’t have it easy either….lol
Post # 11
it’s your wedding, as long as it doesn’t look unflattering on them, then i don’t see a problem with you wanting that particular dress
Post # 12
I think they look so similar it shouldn’t be such a big deal. MOH’s used to always be in either a different color or have/wear/carry something to set them apart. If she likes it better,I think I’d let her have it. Sorry. For me it would be one less thing to worry about or to stress over.
Post # 13
Just as a suggestion, maybe a bit of compromise. Since your sister is Maid/Matron of Honor, let her wear the dress she ‘loves’, and your other 2 bridesmaids wear the original dress you picked out?
For the record, it doesn’t sound like you are being a bridezilla. If you do want all the attendants in the same dress, then that’s what you should stick to.
Post # 14
All the dresses are beautiful, and its frustrating when people won’t agree with you. How about you just give in and let everyone chose their own dress in the color you like? That way everyone will be happy, and you’ll still have a cohesive look.
Post # 15
I had a similar problem, except it wasn’t that my sister (MOH) didn’t like the particular dress I picked out, it was that she flat out REFUSED to wear a dress. PERIOD. She hates wearing dresses. When I told her I was engaged and asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor her first question was, “Do I have to wear a dress?” Um. How about a congratulations?
Well anyway. My mom sided with her too. Now she’s wearing her army uniform, which will look sharp in any case. I have three other bridesmaids and I was so relieved that they even wanted to wear a dress that I let them all pick their own style. They all have such different body types anyway that it’d be really hard to find a dress that looked gorgeous on all of them.
So I guess to answer your question: I don’t think you’re a bridezilla. I think that’s an extremely rude word to use. But I also don’t know if making her buy a dress she doesn’t like is the right decision. It may be easier on you in the long run to just let your sister get the other dress (I think both dresses are beautiful). If she starts feeling like you’re being controlling now (not that I’m saying that you are, she might just be thinking this) then she may be less inclined to cooperate on more important issues later. Just my thoughts. Good luck!
Post # 16
ahh sisters. no, you’re not being a bridezilla.