(Closed) My mom just called me a bridezilla! Sorry, bit of a vent here!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How did you choose your BM dresses?
    Totally my choice - I'm the bride! : (11 votes)
    17 %
    My choice, as long as it looked GOOD on all of the BMs! : (19 votes)
    30 %
    Majority opinion amongst BMs ruled! : (9 votes)
    14 %
    I let the BMs choose whatever they wanted as long as it matched the color scheme. : (25 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 3
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Its your wedding and ultimately it should be your vision. This dress is a pretty standard style that is generally flattering for most body types. I personally dont understand what their problem is. Are you open to having the moh wearing a different style from the other bridesmaids?

    Post # 4
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    haha my sister has been doing similar, it took forever for me to find a dress that she didn’t think would make her look fat or too short or whatever else I can’t control. She won’t even wear flats, my one real request (because I’m 4’11”) because her arches are too high? And then when I finally found a dress that everyone liked it took her so long to get me the measurements they sold out. My mom is on my side ๐Ÿ™‚ But I still try to be nice because of course she’s my sister and I want her to feel pretty too, this is an important day for her too ๐Ÿ™‚ Not sure if that’s how it is with yours, but I digress…

    Did you already buy the dress? Because my feeling would be to find a different compromise. I’m not trying to push anything on my sister, I can keep searching until we all find one (or several) we like. You’ve got some time yet!

    Post # 5
    3166 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    lol i wore that dress in truffle as a bridesmaid! i agree, it is definitely flattering. your sister’s just being a brat – your mom and her need to get over it. but since she IS your Maid/Matron of Honor, she could wear a different style from the others and it wouldn’t look out of place.

    Post # 6
    10287 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    No, you’re not being a Bridezilla. Your sister sounds like she’s just being a total B! She went into the appointment will a crappy attitude and like you said, she was set on not liking the dress regardless of how it looked on her. When it comes down to it, its your wedding and your decision. Its not like you are making your girls wear some hideous lime green abomination. 

    Post # 7
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’ve been in a lot of weddings and have not once wore a dress that I liked, BUT I kept my mouth shut and wore it with a smile for my friend(s). Your sister/friends should do the same. Sounds like you’re taking their feelings into consideration and not just choosing something that you like. It also sounds like THEY are not taking YOUR feelings into consideration. 

    Post # 8
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    No you did the right thing.  She was the only one that didn’t like it.  I had my girls vote and I voted and the dress with the majority won out.  I think that is the best way to handle it or you will be searching forever to find a dress that everyone really likes.  It is your wedding and it is your vision so that is all that matters.

    If it makes you feel any better my mom calls me a Bridezilla all the time over stupidish that doesn’t really make me a bridezilla.  She thinks that because I have a vision makes me a bridezilla.  This is because she has a different vision for my wedding and doesn’t want to accept that I am going for a vintage feel.  Sometimes I think mothers say things without realizing how hurtful they can be. 

    Good luck and keep your head up

    Post # 10
    295 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    You’re not bridezilla and yes you have a right to want a specific look for your wedding!!  I was so worried about my girls liking and reusing their dress that I was making myself sick.  So I made the statement that they had to compliment eachother and be the same fabric.  That being said, we had a satin group and 2 chiffon groups, one full length and one with high/low hems.  I asked each girl to privately email me their choice after I sent them and email with all the dresses they had liked/tried on that I LIKED TOO!!!  Turns out, they all liked chiffon and each was able to wear their first choice, just adjusting hem on 2 dresses to fit better with other 2.  This actually worked out way better than them talking it out because no one felt pressured to pick a dress.  I was fine with not the exact dress as long as they were same color, fabric and looked good. 

    Your sis can have a different dress as Maid/Matron of Honor but you should be k with the choice not bullied into it.  The one thing I’ve always said is, if they look horrible in their dress, it’s my pics that will be ruined….lol….so I have a vested interest in them looking good.  Try the private email thing, it really solved my situation and everyone is happy.  By The Way, my girls are  all sizes and shapes and skin colors, so I didn’t have it easy either….lol

    Post # 11
    565 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    it’s your wedding, as long as it doesn’t look unflattering on them, then i don’t see a problem with you wanting that particular dress

    Post # 12
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I think they look so similar it shouldn’t be such a big deal. MOH’s used to always be in either a different color or have/wear/carry something to set them apart. If she likes it better,I think I’d let her have it. Sorry. For me it would be one less thing to worry about or to stress over.

    Post # 13
    3241 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Just as a suggestion, maybe a bit of compromise.  Since your sister is Maid/Matron of Honor, let her wear the dress she ‘loves’, and your other 2 bridesmaids wear the original dress you picked out? 

    For the record, it doesn’t sound like you are being a bridezilla.  If you do want all the attendants in the same dress, then that’s what you should stick to.

    Post # 14
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    All the dresses are beautiful, and its frustrating when people won’t agree with you. How about you just give in and let everyone chose their own dress in the color you like? That way everyone will be happy, and you’ll still have a cohesive look.

    Good luck!

    Post # 15
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I had a similar problem, except it wasn’t that my sister (MOH) didn’t like the particular dress I picked out, it was that she flat out REFUSED to wear a dress.  PERIOD.  She hates wearing dresses.  When I told her I was engaged and asked her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor her first question was, “Do I have to wear a dress?”  Um.  How about a congratulations? 

    Well anyway.  My mom sided with her too.  Now she’s wearing her army uniform, which will look sharp in any case.  I have three other bridesmaids and I was so relieved that they even wanted to wear a dress that I let them all pick their own style.  They all have such different body types anyway that it’d be really hard to find a dress that looked gorgeous on all of them.

    So I guess to answer your question:  I don’t think you’re a bridezilla.  I think that’s an extremely rude word to use.  But I also don’t know if making her buy a dress she doesn’t like is the right decision.  It may be easier on you in the long run to just let your sister get the other dress (I think both dresses are beautiful).  If she starts feeling like you’re being controlling now (not that I’m saying that you are, she might just be thinking this) then she may be less inclined to cooperate on more important issues later.  Just my thoughts.  Good luck!

    Post # 16
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    ahh sisters. no, you’re not being a bridezilla. Smile

    The topic ‘My mom just called me a bridezilla! Sorry, bit of a vent here!’ is closed to new replies.

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