- 11 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
Tell her to shut up and listen! Holy crap.
Tell her to shut up and listen! Holy crap.
You just can’t win with family… especially when they have a history of playing favorites! Sigh…
It’s like that movie WarGames: the only winning move is not to play.
@mrbee, WarGames is one of my all-time favorite movies. LOL!
I agree with a lot of posts above and it is thoughtless of your mom to do this. However, I’m confused by all the comments that “for a third baby!”. Is the third child less special than the first? Is the pregnancy less of a pain? ? Isn’t this, in a sense, exactly what you are complaining of? That your parents have been through your younger siblings milestones and so yours aren’t a bid deal because you’re fourth and so don’t deserve anything special – a fourth! daughter. So basicaly I’m saying it would have been equally thoughtless of your mom to do this for you sister’s first child and first grandchild – because having promises something it’s not nice to give it someone else especially since she could have choosen a different gift.
@ejs – I have to laugh at this sister b/c she always does this! She is a classic one-upper!
@mr.Bee – You are right, I am just fading into the background now. I’m also saving to buy my own earrings so if you know any good jewelry stores in the city let me know!
@Arachna – You aren’t getting the point. The present isn’t going to my sister’s 3rd baby, it’s a gift to my sister for a ‘milestone’ event. Hello?? I am getting married! My sister has had her turn with the spotlight and the gifts several times now, I never have. And the earrings were originally promised to me, this sister has already received a lot of nice jewelry from our Mom for her graduation, wedding, pregnancies, I have never received anything.
@moderndaisy…I was thinking about your situation and comparing it to the dynamics in my own family. I know you think that the sister who is receiving the earrings isn’t involved outside of that but I don’t know if that’s exactly true. What I have noticed in my family is that my siblings KNOW FULL WELL that they are being favored with things at my expense…but because they LIKE reaping the benefits…they don’t say anything to my parents about it…they just soak it all up. When parents favor one or more kids over the other they set up a competition of sorts with their children and that can have a very negative result on self-esteem. Why aren’t your siblings more supportive and excited about your wedding? Why would your brother announce his wife’s pregnancy at the same time you are announcing your engagement? I personally think your older siblings LIKE the fact that they are getting all of the attention and fuss made over them even if it’s at your expense. I could be wrong…I hope I am….but it’s not looking good
*Hugs* I’m sorry your mom did that!! That really sucks! Sorry I don’t have anything more helpful to add. = (
Honestly, I’d have trouble even talking to my family if they talked to me the way yours treats/talks to you. LAME.
Agree with JamaicaBride. I would talk to your older sis and see what she says. If she acts with indifference, I think JB is right on. 🙁
First off, let me say that it sucks that this is happening to you. It’s unfair to be treated differently than your siblings.
I’ve seen both sides of this agrument, since my Fiance comes from a family where his youngest sister is spoiled rotten (he has 3 sisters from 3 different husbands), and it’s especially hard when she gest a brand new macbook and a trip to europe and he gets $100 for Christmas.
That said, I am not trying to be offensive at all by saything this – sometimes you just have to grow up and take care of yourself. Fiance leared that he can’t rely on his mom for anything because she ALWAYS goes back on her word (promising help with a downpayment for a house, help with wedding $, gifts, etc.) and every time it happened, he got so hurt and upset that finally he distanced himself a little bit and stopped turning to her for financial (or even emotional) support. Maybe it’s time that you do that. I understand being close to your family and loving them but you’re adult. Time to take care of yourself.
@Jamaica, you do have a point – it’s not like my sisters ever try to even things out. But to be honest, they have been the most supportive and loving throughout my engagement so it’s hard for me to be mad at them. For example, I know for sure if I asked my sister to borrow the earrings or if I could have them, she’d do it in a heartbeat. As I would for her. Haha, my brother is another story – he’s in his own world. Very nice guy though, I’ll bet he doesn’t even realize what ‘stealing thunder’ is!
I totally agree with Mr. Bee… I just dont play the games my sisters and my mom play any more. I dont compare any more or worry about what they got or get. I know its hard to move on and to do this…but its the only thing that helps. My sister put my dads house in her name because she was living there and he moved out to his girlfriends apt…but has since moved back into the house…but I didnt want any part of the house. They asked me if I wanted my name on it too and they told my sister she is to split it with me and our younger sister…but I didnt care. Im getting married, were going to have our own house and I just didnt want any problems from whatever they were doing! Good luck. And who knows maybe your mom has something else she is going to give you on your wedding day…not saying that this doesnt hurt and wasnt right.
OMGoodness, isn’t your wedding day right around the corner? I hate that you have been so upset and I do feel for you. Maybe there is a very nice surprise waiting for you on your wedding day. I sure hope so and please remember to let us know if there is.
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