(Closed) My mom just died…

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8883 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@laustin85:  so sorry for your loss.

my father passed away 2 years ago and my FI’s father passed away 15 years ago.

we are jewish, in a jewish ceremony you get married under a chuppah (canopy).  we are using both of our father’s talits (prayer shawls) as the canopy covering.

 

Post # 4
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

For my husband’s father that had passed away, and our grandparents, we included a nice reading during the service and section in our program. It was nice to acknowledge them but was short enough to make sure that it didn’t make our wedding sad or like a memorial.

Post # 5
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry for your loss.  I am praying for you and your family!

Post # 6
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

@laustin85:  I am very sorry for your loss. 🙁 

My father passed away a year ago, and so I will be doing certain things to honour him, as well. We are doing the empty chair with his photo and a little card/framed poem. Honestly, you can honour your mother any way you wish, and the people who call it “creepy” or “sad” likely haven’t experienced the loss of a close loved one. 

I am going with the “unspoken” details because I don’t think I can handle readings/songs in his memory (and that will feel more funeral-like to me).

Post # 7
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I am so sorry for your loss.  I cannot imagine losing my mom.  My best friend’s mom has this, and is not expected to make it much longer.  Because her mom was so sick, she was not able to attend her daughter’s wedding.  It was very hard for my friend, but she did some nice things to include her mom.  

She wore her mom’s earrings.  She put out framed photos of her parents and grandparents from their wedding, as well her FI’s next to the guest book.  It was very nice to see all the wedding photos out.  

The biggest thing she did was choose pink flowers.  Apparently the color pink is gratitude.  She had a vase of pink roses behind the “altar” (was a beach wedding, so it was table) and the officiant made a few remarks during the ceremony that the bride was thankful for the person she became due to the love and nurturing of her mother.  She said that all the pink flowers and pink in the wedding were a way to honor and thank her mom.  There was also a note in the program, and the favor was a donation to an Alzheimer’s Foundation.  

Thinking of you at this difficult time.  

Post # 8
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@laustin85:  I’m so sorry for your loss. 

I think what you’re doing is plenty.  I’m not a fan of the empty chair idea.  Your wedding is about your wedding.  Remember your Mom in ways that are meaningful to you. 

Post # 9
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry for your loss **hugs** I think your ideas of wearing her pearls, and using her charm on your bouquet are lovely ways of remembering her spirit. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am so sorry for your loss.

Post # 11
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

so sorry about your loss sweetie.. *big hugs for you*  

Sorry, I don’t have any experience about that but in my opinion, I wouldn’t use the empty chair, it would make me realize even more that she’s not there and It’d make me even more sad..

how about you just bring a picture of her, the picture of her with the biggest smile you can find!!  cos I’m sure that’s how she would feel at your wedding.. HAPPY!!  =)

much love and prayers for you and your family xxxx

Post # 12
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@laustin85:  I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away after a long illness 4 years ago. Like you, I knew it was coming eventually, but it was still shocking when she actually passed.

My family always has “altars” set up at wedding receptions. It has pictures of everyone who has passed away. It’s a nice way to fill space with something meaningful. 

I will be cutting a heart out of one of mom’s blue shirts and sewing it into the inside of the bodice of my dress for my “something blue”. I will probably wear her pearls as well. I’m using succulents and calla lilies because they were both her favorite. I like the empty chair idea. At my parents’ wedding mom took flowers to Mary (Catholic tradition) and pulled out one of the roses and gave it to her mom. I might do something similar, but place it on “her” empty chair. 

Post # 13
Member
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I just wanted to say that I am incredibly sorry for your loss. Xo

Post # 14
Member
2685 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry.  I lost my grandpa to Alzheimer’s, and I know that it’s a rough experience.

I don’t think it’s creepy to include an empty seat for your mother, I think it’s really touching.  I had a friend who did a table of old family photos at the reception (I think it was the guestbook table).  She included wedding photos of both sets of parents, childhood pics, photos of relatives who couldn’t be there, etc., which I thought was a great idea.

Post # 15
Member
1877 posts
Buzzing bee

I have no advice, but wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.

Post # 16
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m so sorry for your loss.  I’m not sure about the empty chair idea, I haven’t seen it done.  However, at my cousin’s wedding, the bride’s father had passed away.  The officiant made reference to her father during the ceremony, and included a reading that the bride picked with her father in mind.  They also did a toast during the reception to “all our loved ones who couldn’t be here today”.  Try not to make any decisions right now though, when the hurt is so fresh.  Give yourself some time to heal. 

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