(Closed) My Mom Just Told Me My Wedding Is Going to Look Cheap

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ignore her. Seriously. My mother had negative opinions on a LOT of things we did because she’s a negative person in general. The bottom line is do what you can afford. It won’t look cheap. And better to have no gotten in over your head then to be up to your eyeballs in debt for something that lasted only one day.

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Mrs. Meowerson: Are we sisters? Seriously, that makes me wonder.

On a more helpful note, lol, your wedding is not going to “look cheap.” It’s a wedding – generally not a cheap thing to put on. Budget weddings can be and are beautiful. I think she’s just buying into the ridiculousness of “weddings.” I wouldn’t discuss price with her any more than you have to and just let her guess. If she thinks it’s too cheap, tell her she can pay for it herself. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m sorry. Hugs all around. Moms sometimes can be the most critical and it hurts us the most because they are our moms.

Post # 7
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Mrs. Meowerson: I just meant, I probably wouldn’t say…anything. Just be like “yeah we are having ______ and _____. I think it’s kind of ridiculous that she cares what price your flatware and etc is anyways. Seriously. Nobody cares.

Post # 8
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Tell her that if she says one more thing, she will be eating off chinet and cutting her food with a plastic knife.

Post # 10
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sorry to hear that but it sounds like you told her the right thing. Weddings don’t have to be elegant to be great. It’s has alot to do with the people that will be there. Don’t let it get to you. It’s your day and there are no guidelines for weddings. Mothers get emotional and they’ll get over it. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 11
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You can tell her that if she is so concerned about something looking cheap then she can feel free to hand over her own checkbook.  Otherwise, shutthehellup!!

Seriously, though, kuddos to you for working within your budget.  You WILL have a beautiful wedding, no matter what you end up spending.  ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 13
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I doubt the majority of your guests will notice what kind of plates they’re eating off of. And if they do, and they have a crappy attitude like your mom’s, screw them anyway. People like that always find something to complain about.

Post # 14
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m super judgemental about every detail at a wedding. It’s terrible I know. However, I would never be like “these are shitty cheap plates” unless they were paper. I couldn’t even imagine where that would matter.  Plus, so many people don’t even use a DOC. She’s quackers.

Post # 15
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

random mom rant: today i went with my mom to go look at MOB dresses and she said she wanted either fuschia or black & white. I couldn’t find any fuschias so i brought her 2 b&w’s. she was like “i’ve already tried something like that” and I said “well that’s what you asked for” and she flipped on me. she was like “we’d better go now, i can’t stand your attitude!” x_x so much for that.

Post # 16
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We got this same reaction from my Future Father-In-Law when we started planning. Like some PPs, we felt that it wasn’t fair for him to criticize our choices if he didn’t want to pay for his preferred alternative. Trying to show him our rationale for our decisions and discussing it with him did not really work.

What did work for us was including him and Future Mother-In-Law in some meetings with vendors, taking them to tour the ceremony and reception space, and giving them some “jobs” that weren’t high priorities for us, like finding a ceremony pianist.

Would it be possible for you to include her more in the planning process somehow? It seemed really counterintuitive to me to include them more when they were so critical, but I feel like it gave them some ownership over the planning and really brought them over to our side on things we’d previously argued over. Maybe when she calms down, you could hand over a couple minor things to her or ask for her opinions between a few options that fit your price range. In our case, when they felt more included, they trusted us more and were overall more supportive of our decisions.

I just realized I wrote a novel here, but I really hope something like that would work for you because it did really help us out! Fighting with parents over wedding stuff is the worst.

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