- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2009
A little backstory:
My parents had an awful divorce. It involved serious child-support issues and my sister and I were always used as pawns against my dad. While he wasn’t the best at supporting us financially, he took us every weekend when we were growing up.
When it was time for me to go to college, I took care of my tuition (we live in CA where tuition is SUPER cheap) and worked to pay for everything on my own. My sister, on the other hand, decided to go to school in San Francisco where she cannot afford to live without the help of my parents. I’m not mad at her for this, but I think she should have thought it through before making such a financial decision that she is not able to commit to. I also feel like it’s not my place to say anything because I’m not supporting anyone and she is in college – it’s not like she’s just living off of them and doing nothing.
We had originally planned on eloping on a very small budget since buying a home was more important than having a wedding. When I told my mom that I was engaged, she gave us $10,000. When she offered it to us, I told her that I didn’t need it, but she insisted. I eventually took the money and used it to plan the wedding, even though eloping would have made more sense financially. FI and I have also contributed some money and so has my dad. The amounts of money that the rest of us have given to the wedding fund is nowhere near what she has given, all four of us have been comfortable with the amount that we have contributed.
Fast forward to last night when my sister was looking for some money to book her flight down here. I guess she called my mom and was told that since she was paying for the wedding it was my dad’s responsibility to pay for my sister’s flight. She also said that she would not be paying for anything else that was wedding related. My sister then called my dad for the money, which she got.
First of all, my mom chose to give us that money, we did not ask her in any way for it. If I had known that it was going to be used to "one-up" my dad, we would have eloped as we had planned. Second, it’s not like he didn’t contribute anything, which is still none of her business.
I just feel like, once again, the kids are being put in the middle of this.
Sorry, there isn’t any question here. . . I just needed to vent.