- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
OK, so my mom has been very anti everything about our wedding, which is destination in Cabo San Lucas — not to mention our favorite place on this earth. We are paying for everything ourselves. She would make faces and turn her nose up at a lot of decisions, such as being barefoot on the beach, and our cocktail hour being a sunset cruise, e.g. “You KNOW how seasick I got on that catamaran on vacation” (side note: that was about 15+ years ago and on a rough ocean)
Anyway, since my shower, she’s been pretty positive, until this weekend when she, once again, made me cry about my own wedding.
Backstory: My cousin who is walking me down the aisle had mentioned having a party for the guests (only about 25) on the Friday before the wedding. No official plans were ever made and it was left as “we’ll play it by ear.”
Since then, Fiance and I got tickets to an event that has been his dream to attend on this particular weekend in Cabo, so the party can’t happen. Also, many people aren’t arriving till late Friday or early Saturday, so many wouldn’t have been able to attend the party, including my Future Mother-In-Law. Final note, my cousin hadn’t mentioned anything about it since, and we are 2 months out from the wedding.
I drove 3 and a half hours to visit my mom this past weekend, and she asked me about the party (which she’s been bugging me about incessantly). When I told her, you would have thought the wedding was cancelled.
MOM: “Oh, that’s very disappointing. I was really looking forward to it. Now I’ll have to return my dress. Jane Doe got a dress, too. I guess I’ll have to tell her to return it.”
ME: “So return it. I have a dress that needs to be returned, too.”
After several of these comments throughout the night:
ME: “Mom, you’re acting like you were looking forward to the party more than the actual wedding.”
MOM: “No, but I just thought it would be so nice, having a drink on the balcony of the villa.”
THEN, she asked if everyone was staying at our hotel and when they were flying in. I said that several guests are staying in different hotels (based on their personal preference and budget). She got ALL KINDS of upset, saying things like “What?!! Well that sucks! I thought we’d all sit by the pool during the day together. Well, what is there to do? You know I don’t like sitting by the pool.”
Then she makes me feel bad about my 40-something brother who is coming without his wife, who By The Way, has already Facebook chatted me to tell me how he “won’t be able to afford to leave the hotel” (he hasn’t called me once since i got engaged):
MOM: “What is your brother supposed to do now all by himself at the hotel?”
ME: “He’s a big boy mom. He should be able to entertain himself for 3 days.”
MOM: “That’s really a shame. It would have been so nice for everyone to hang out together.”
ME: “Mom, people are using this as a vacation. They are going to want to do their own thing during the day.”
MOM: “Well I am not going to tell him or he’ll be upset”
WTF?!?!?!? I can’t micro manage when all my guests are flying in and where they are staying so that my mom and brother aren’t bored. It feels like she expects me to babysit her.
I really just needed to vent. I can’t let her negative, self-involved mood effect my wedding day. It’s OUR dream, not hers, right?
Thanks for listening.