Post # 1
Hey guys. So…Fiance & I are paying for almost all of our $9,500 wedding by ourselves: Future Mother-In-Law put in a grand, Future Father-In-Law sent us about $400 for Christmas that we put towards it, my mom bought my dress and hairpiece ($200). My mom is on disability right now, and probably would have given me more if she could, but Fiance & I paid for it easily by ourselves. I love my mom, but she & her boyfriend don’t get along well at all. Honestly, I’m not sure why they’re still together, but I digress.
My guest list is 117 people, with a venue limit of 110 at the most. We *have* to pay for 75, which is the venue minimum for the room rental. We have already paid for the 75 people, and honestly, I don’t think we’ll have many people over 80-90. If we don’t go over 75 people, we’d have about a grand extra that we already have saved up.
My mom wants me to invite a couple that they are friends with, and I have met once or twice in my life. Not only would I end up paying $43 a person for this couple that I don’t know well to come, but the husband is a bit of a drunk and I can just see him drinking a ton of the two (rather expensive) kegs that we are paying for at the reception. Not only that, but I have an feeling that my mom’s Boyfriend or Best Friend and the husband of this couple will spend the whole wedding together and I will hear from my mom nonstop about how the Boyfriend or Best Friend is a jerk, or whatever, because they fight all the time. And her reasoning behind inviting this couple? It will “hurt their feelings”, because they didn’t invite them when they went to Florida, and that also “hurt their feelings”. Okay, whatever, they aren’t my friends, why do I care if their feelings are hurt?
What do I do? I have the room for the couple, but I don’t want to pay for them. Fiance has never met this couple. None of the other parents are inviting friends, except one family on each side that has been close to us since we were kids.
Post # 3
Oops, I should add in: I STILL haven’t gotten all of the RSVPs in, the date to have them in is April 15th, which it says on the RSVP. So if I waited until I knew who was and wasn’t coming, I would still have to send out an invitation for them which would have an already-passed date of RSVP. What do I do with that?! I could always not put the card in, I suppose, but still..
Post # 4
That would be a big ol’ NOPE from me. Sorry, but my wedding is about celebrating with my loved ones, not about the hurt feelings of near-strangers!
Post # 5
@rachie205: That’s a good question, I think you could just exclude the RSVP card and then follow up with them personally. I’m not sure of the etiquette on that one.
Post # 6
It’s not your problem that your mom didn’t invite them to Florida (if I’m understanding the situation right)! You don’t have to invite them IMO.
Post # 7
@Over the Moon: Yes, you’re right. Sorry about that. They went on a trip to Florida a while back, didn’t invite them and they were hurt. So my mom feels we should invite them to our wedding, so they aren’t hurt. I do sort of understand where she’s coming from: my mom lives in Missouri, I live in Texas, about two hours away from where this couple lives. So I’m assuming she wants to invite them since they’re in the same state.. I don’t know, honestly.
Post # 8
It’s your wedding, if your mom is willing to pay for the dinner for the couple including the kegs he will be drinking…..
Post # 9
I don’t think you should invite them. You don’t know them, and you’re paying for it. It also sounds like there’s a potential for drama along with it, so you mom really should be more understanding on that front.
Post # 10
Tell your mom that the point of inviting people to the wedding is to have the people there who are close to you and your soon-to-be husband. It’s not like a trip to the local fair where you invite people along because, “the more the merrier.”
I think she’s stupid for wanting to continue being friends with people who got all bent out of shape for not being invited on their vacation. Talk about being entitlement minded!
Post # 11
I agree with a lot of the PPs. They’re not your friends to invite (or not invite). The day really is about the bride and groom celebrating their love and the joining of their families with their loved ones.
Our rule is that only people that have met both me and my fiance get an invitation. This has really helped to keep the guestlist in check.
Post # 12
I am having this same situation my mom just invited all of her coworkers, who I do not know at all! urrgh, just wanted you to know your not alone. hope things work out ok for you =]
Post # 13
That would be a no for me also.
Post # 14
Definitely not. It’s your wedding AND you’re paying, no way.
Post # 15
Sounds Like my mom! Lol My Fiance an I recently wrote down our guest list so that we could come up with a budget and my mom called is to “inform” (not ask) us that she WILL be bringing 5 guest to OUR wedding( not including her +1 and my 2 younger brothers) to eat and drink at OUR expense. We have never met any of these people before.
I told her NO. I’m not going to cut people that Fiance and I want there to celebrate with us so that she can bring 8 guest 5 whom are complete strangers.
Post # 16
I’m usually the one hollering to have the parents’ friends there, but your parents aren’t paying, so I don’t see why these strangers need to be there.
That said, will your mom have other family members to spend time with at your wedding? If she’d have no one to talk to, then I’d see a reason to invite them?