(Closed) My mom wants to invite her friends to my wedding

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree. I know it can be frustrating but even though your wedding is about you it’s also about family. We are having a similar problem. We are paying for most of the wedding and m parents are helping out a little. Also we have a huge family so we just happen to be inviting a lot more people (even though most of them won’t come) Future Mother-In-Law feels like she should get to invite as many guests… which has been really frustrating. Eventually we just explained that we can’t afford it and we have alloted a certain number of spots which she is allowed to fill however she chooses. We also let them know how much it is costing us per person and if they want to invite more we are happy to have them if they can help out with the expense.

Post # 18
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My parents want their friends too which is completely fine because I reminded them that THEY are paying for food and drink Cool

Post # 19
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d say give her about 3 friends she can invite and no +1s for them.  My dad wants to invite two of his friends and I’m ok with it because he’s paying for the wedding and I like his friends anyway :3

Post # 20
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My mom pre-invited a lot of her friends to my wedding. I have a venue capacity of 60 people, so we have cut out a lot of our friends, so I told my mom she had to cut down her list.

I told my mom if it was that important to her, she could host a small post wedding shower for just her friends after we get our photos back, so they can still be involved somehow.

 

Post # 21
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Who’s paying? It’s totally normal for parents (on both sides) to invite a few couples of their friends, but if they aren’t footing the bill for the reception, then this becomes trickier.

We allowed each set of parents to choose 5 couples (10 people) to invite.

Post # 22
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I know this thread is like a year old and the OP never followed up, but I think parents should be able to bring friends. If I put 20+ years hard work into raising my daughter, I want my friends there sharing that moment with me too when she gets married. I’d be pretty disappointed in her if she turned it into a problem (I’d keep the friends to close ones only though, not invite everyone I ever met).

Post # 23
Member
13887 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with friends..,my Future In-Laws have coworkers they already told were invited… She wasn’t happy when I said “if there’s space on the guest list…”  I’m not not inviting my grandmother for that!

Post # 24
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have a similar problem.  My parents are paying and are insisting on inviting 46 friends.  I am completely fine with them inviting friends, it’s the number I have a problem with.  Our venue only seats 200 & both of our families are rather large (50+ each).  Our guest list is 225.  My Future In-Laws only invited 20 friends (and some are our age) versus my parents 46.  I’ve tried to reason with them, but they keep saying they’re paying, so they decide the guest list.

Post # 25
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@chloeburch:  That’s a LOT. I think the cutoff should be 10-15 but that’s just me haha!

Post # 25
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I have a very large family and we are very close. My family also will add up to 100 guests + my fiancé’s family and our close friends and co-workers we have a total of 201 guests.

We wanted to have a small wedding with only close friends and family and thus decided to stop at this number of guests. My mother is giving me a hard time regarding her prayer group friends.

My problem is not so much about the money..my problem is that if I let her invite her friends it is only fair to give the same x amount of guests to my fiancé’s parents as they too have close friends. And to have about 20 people who I do not know in my wedding seems a bit of folly and unfair to me.To think that I had to decide not to include some of my friends and my fiancé’s friends in order to keep this wedding as intimate as possible.

Would it be so wrong to ask my mother to enjoy that day with me? It’s not like she doesn’t t have any other person to share her joy with on that they. She has her 3 sisters and 4 brothers who as I said before are very close and meet almost every day!

Post # 26
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

 I’m having a similar issue, but my mother more than doubled the guest list, and I feel helpless because she’s paying for them. A few friends is fine, but it’s turned into an event just for her

Post # 27
Member
7029 posts
Busy Beekeeper

View original reply
kate01199 :  OP was married 7 years ago, this is an 8 year old post. You may wish to start a new one.

There are often strings that come with accepting other people’s financial support–choices…

The topic ‘My mom wants to invite her friends to my wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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