- 1 year ago
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
I’ve been on here for a little while and post about my upcoming wedding, but I have encountered something I am really not sure how to handle and could use some advice. I recently went wedding dress shopping with my Mom and Aunt. After shopping, my mom made a point to visit me for a coffee, as she was worried about my stress levels.
For background, I do suffer some moderate to severe general anxiety disorder. I have for a long time. I get anxious about lots of things and will sometimes have panic attacks. However, I have tried to manage my anxiety through meditation and other methods as opposed to medication. I want to avoid having to take pills all the time to manage myself and my feelings. And really, I think I do a pretty decent job.
My mom and I are also often at odds. I love her very much and we have a decent relatioship, but we really clash on every topic. My mom is very much of the opinion that she is always right and if you do not agree you are wrong and stupid and do not know what you are talking about. If she told me the sky was purple, it would be purple and there would beno way of talking her out of it.
So back to the topic at hand, when my mom came to visit, she stated that she was really worried about how anxious and stressed I am about wedding planning. I do agree I am stressed and anxious, but not to a huge severe amount. And most of that stress (as I told Mama bear) comes from her! Every time I make a decision regarding my wedding, she is up in arms, freaking out that I have made some sort of terrible choice. For example, I decided to purchase birdcages to use as centerpieces. Well my goodness, you would think I killed her cat and left it on her doorstep with the reaction I got. “You cant use those! They are tacky and stupid! You must have real flowers! what are you even going to do with those stupid things! How coudl you do this without talking to me first?!” All this after I had sent her a picture of my plan to use them, which includes real flowers! She even said she liked them in the first place!
So due to me looking “so stressed you are going to have a mental breakdown” she has decided I need to be on some sort of medication. I’ve told her I do not want to be medicated, but she even brought me her own stash of anxiety medication from her doctor! She is insisting, very forcefully, that I start taking these pills for 2 weeks and if they work to go get my own.
I really feel like she wants to ‘medicate’ me for my anxiety because throughout this wedding planning process, I have gotten in the habit of standing my ground and saying no to her. She doesnt like that I am not bending to her will, like I always used to as a child. So I suspect she wants to calm me down so I am more agreeable to whatever she wants!
Does this seem crazy to anyone else? How do I tell my mom it is not her place to just medicate me because she wants me to be easier to deal with? And that it’s not appropriate for her to just give me pills and demand I take them! Or am I the crazy one?