(Closed) My mom wants to run the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LovinChrist18:  Can you pay for the wedding yourself by chance? Maybe take a loan from the bank?

You are going to encourter a lot of Bees who will say since Mom pays she gets a say. I do not agree at all. She needs to respect your wishes on everything as this is day belongs to you and your Fiance, not your mother.

Have you spoken to her and given her your ideas? Have you let her know that your taking over the wedding is hurting your feelings?

I hate to say it, but the best remedy for pushy mothers is to pay for the wedding on your own

Post # 5
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If mom is paying for more than 50% of the wedding, than she gets the majority control. I’m sorry, but that’s the disadvantage of having parents pay. 

I would sit down with her, show her what you are thinking of, and ask her to make suggestions. Go through every detail. Voice your concerns. But most of all, express how grateful you are at all points. This could be a drama pit if you’re not careful. 

Post # 6
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LovinChrist18:  I would have a talk for your mom and voice your concerns. Tell her you feel like she is favoring your sister’s wedidng over yours! She might not know what she is doing. That being said, make a list of everything you want for your wedding.


It is possible to do it it. Check for payment plans at vendors or check for Bed and Breakfasts. I know the ones here will host a wedding for 30 people or less. Also, I used silk flowers and made all the bouquets for our wedding.


The bottom line is your wedding is the most important day of your life. You and your Fiance have the most emotional investement in it. If someone else takes it over, you will regret it. My friend let her mother take over her wedding and seven years later she is still miffed about it. DON’T BE HER.

Post # 7
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My mother and I had a huge discussion about this the other day. I’m very lucky and my parents are paying for the wedding. So mom does get a say but its still yours and your FI’s wedding. Maybe talk it out with her get everything out in the open. 

Post # 8
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

maybe because i dont like to put strings to money gifts but im not a believer that the person paying for the wedding gets to be in control.

yes they should be given allowances that includes a say on the guest list and some of the touches (example a DJ instead of a lady ga ga impersonator) but someone else shouldnt have “control” because what if she wanted you to wear something hideous or feed your guest horrible food while hosting an event at chucky cheese –  a line has to be drawn somewhere

i think you are both adults and you should talk to her, explain your vision and that you hope she supports you and try to find a compromise from there.  goodluck

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