- 4 years ago
I cut my mom out of my life years ago, aside from holidays time to time if she is around, and we keep it cordial. If she doesn’t, I end the conversation.
I suggest you do the same.
It will never be an easy task. It is the emotional equivalent of jumping out of a plane without a parachute. You really just have to do it, stick to your guns, and work through it. You have the power to block her number, facebook, and call the cops if she shows up at your house. I know that last bit sounds extreme, but my mother used to physically harass me when I was younger (Now I live across the country, and she has accepted that we cut ties, so it’s not a big issue anymore), and I’m not sure how extreme your mother would get.
It’s NOT easier to keep talking with her to avoid conflict. I promise. At first it might be, but after a while, she will either accept it (and possibly apologize), or she won’t and continue to be a miserable human being. Either way, it’s for the better that you rid yourself of this woman.
Getting pregnant and popping a baby out doesn’t give someone the “right” to be in your life. It doesn’t mean you are morally obligated to keep them in your life. Just remember this when you are feeling weak.
Whatever you do, don’t be nasty about any interactions with your mother. If she was anythign like mine, it was the reaction they are after. My mother is quite literally addicted to drama and pain (which explains her relationship with physically and emotionally abusive men, time and time again). It took me a while, but as I got older, I learned that walking away/hanging up/ignoring is often the best bet. You cannot reason with unreasonable people, and you waste a lot of energy trying.
I know you weren’t looking for advice, so feel free to ignore, but I can’t stand seeing people get walked on.