Post # 1
Did you combine your finances with your SO/FI/DH? If so, when? And if you haven’t are you planning to?
We are now a little over three months away for our wedding, we are moving in together in two weeks, and FI, unfortunately, was laid off recently.
We will be combining our finances after our move. I hadn’t planned on moving in with FI until after the wedding so the only finances we had combined before was an account we had made specifically for wedding expenses that we both contributed to, but now things have taken quite a different turn so we will be combining our money before the wedding.
It makes me nervous. Not in a I don’t trust FI type of way, but just in a OMG I can’t believe I’m going to be sharing my money with another person type of way. FI said it’s my decision and we don’t have to combine accounts if I don’t want to, but I think this would just be the best decision for us.
Post # 3
Didn’t see an option for this….Husband and I share a joint savings and checking, and then we each have our own accounts as well. Most of our $$ goes into joint accounts. Works great for us! We are both in our mid 30s and had our own debts and investments, so pooling 100% of our money just didn’t make sense for us.
We talked alot about our spending habits and philosophies before combining, though. Its good to be on the same page!
Post # 4
@carebee: It’s definitely a tricky topic. FI and I will be combining our finances once we buy a house together. Currently I’m still living at my parents and he is still living at his. Our parents homes are only about 20 minutes apart, so it works for us. We figured we’ll keep the current living situations for a bit so that we can really save up and buy a house.
By far, I am much better with money than he is. Both my parents are bankers and I’ve always grown up with a ton of financial education, how to make the right financial choices etc. Given our lines of work, I will likely end up making more than he will, and that’s something we’re both okay with. I totally understand the “wow, we are really sharing everything now!” kind of feeling. When we decided that we would combine finances, I was worried that I would feel like I’d lose my independence, that he would randomly make a poor financial choice etc. but we talked it through.
I think your FI has it right…as long as both of you are comfortable with it, then go for it. Money is certainly a touchy subject for some. For us, we’ve both been very open with each other about our finances and financial goals, so I think it will work out for us.
Early congratulations on your upcoming wedding! 🙂
Post # 5
@carebee: He is looking forward to us totally combining finances. I, on the other hand, still have some reservations, which is probably natural considering my mother is on her 5th divorce.
I’m going to suggest a compromise of one joint account and still keeping our seperate ones. I love him more than anything, but I’m a big fan of CYA.
Post # 6
@hassle_J: This is what we plan on doing. No sense in only having one account! We’ll add one another as beneficiaries on our other stuff (my 401k, his portfolio), and then have a joint account for bills and whatever, and then our individual accounts for fun stuff. We have different banks, but they work well together (I’m with a local CU and he uses a big bank, but I can use his bank’s ATMs for free).
Post # 7
My husband and I combined our finances when we got our own apt together (we were bf/gf then). I actually manage all the finances (bills, savings, etc) and he basically gets an “allowance” each week; however I don’t work (he does). It works for us and we never fight about money.
Post # 8
Combining finances works for us. Just so much easier for it to be “our” money.
You’re right, it’s a big step. But if it’s what you want to do, I know you can do it. 😉
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
I was a little worried about combining finances, and I wanted to have separate “allowances.” DH thinks I spend too much on clothes and haircuts, while I don’t like him dropping a lot of money on electronics. So we started out with a joint account for bills, and separate (but linked) accounts for our allowances. Honestly, it was just too inconvenient to carry 2 debit cards, and I never used my “allownace.” After a month we just combined everything, and we haven’t had a single fight or argument over money. We have somewhat similar salaries and neither of us has any debt (other than our mortgage and my DH’s small car note) so combining seemed fair, and I think it will help us get into the mode of “what’s yours is mine” if I decide to be a stay-at-home-mom for awhile and DH is the only breadwinner.
That said – we have pretty similar spending habits. (See above – our spending kind of balances out!) My parents have very different philosophies on spending, so I’ve seen most of their arguments throughout my life be over money. It doesn’t hurt to start out with combined finances, and see how it goes!
Post # 10
We combined our finances right after the wedding. We make about the same. And I am much better with managing money so I pay the bills. I find it’s just easier to pay bills when everything comes from the same pot (so to speak). But we keep a register online so he can update his receipts and is always in the know about what bills are paid and how much we have. It works for us. We never fight over money.
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We like having fully combined accounts. We treat everything as “our money”. For example, I am getting a raise starting next week. We are dividing the raise amount equally, and each of us will allocate our amounts as an increase in our retirement account contributions. We will both benefit equally from the increased income because it is shared as equals. We are in constant communication about finances, upcoming expenses, progress on our savings goals, etc. It works for us because we have similar spending philosophies and happily consult each other about any unplanned purchases. We haven’t had any unpleasant surprises. 🙂
Post # 12
@badabing88: We are doing the same. We will have a joint account but still keep 2 separate checking accounts. I make 3.5x more than my FI and he thinks I spend too much but doesnt understand that I make a lot more than him. I guess we will see how well it will work.
Post # 13
@gelaine22: Same here. Not that big of a difference, but there are things he spends money on that I never would.
Post # 14
@hassle_J: Same (minus the age and debt part). OP, You need to update your poll, this is very common!
Post # 15
We’re going through an immigration process so we’ll officially combine once we are living in the same place. That said, right now we still look at it as “our” money, we just don’t actually have access to each other’s accounts. We keep each other up to date on changes in our earnings, net worth, etc.
Post # 16
We don’t combine but we have a “House account” under MY name, which I may or may not add his name to. We each put the same amount of money pr paycheck and that is just for house and home stuff (rent, bills, food) anything left afterwards is for our own personal use.