Post # 1
She’s Catholic, im Baptist. She’s an ocd cleaner and im a relaxed cleaner. She says women are suppose to serve the husband and i say i work a full time job. She hates my bridesmaids dresses, venues, my dress and my choice of cake. My Fiance says shes always been like that towards his past girlfriends. But the thing is Im the one he decided to put a ring on and she just hates the whole idea of him marrying someone who is 1. Not Catholic 2. Is non white 3. Apparently doesnt match his personality. 4. Is not a serious homemaker. im like LADY THIS IS THE 21st and ITS MY WEDDING NOT YOURS !!!!! How do i just tell her to lay off and accept me !!!
Post # 3
Not sure that will happen (getting her to except you). Mine is Catholic
to and I am Baptist. (A naughty one but one) LOL Basically I had to except her and the ways she was which meant:
This is her baby boy,
No one will be good enough for him no matter what.
She competes with me for his attention.
She is very opinionated and bluntly and uncouthly expresses it.
How I deal with it: I realized she feels she is losing her baby and how I am going to feel about other women in my son’s life above me. I DON”T LIKE IT EITHER. That helped me get thru some of her behavior.
I am not good enough and he is god’s gift to women well I know I am the one he is marrying so I guess I am the best God’s gift to him and I just leave that as my thoughts when she makes comments about how giving and appreciative I should be to have him.
I say nothing about their time on the phone and together and encourage him to go see her more and eventually he had enough mom time and stopped going to see him as much on his own. LOL WORKED LOL
She expresses her blunt rude opinion and I talk back and tell her bluntly exactly what I think of her opinion and eventually she seems to respect me more that I see to be kind of like her and we just argue like sisters now instead of me getting all bent out of shape and not saying anything like I shouldn’t talk back.
Basically she is set in her ways with her son not much if anything will change so it’s on you to try and find ways to deal with or have a relationship with her. I HOPE you find it, it took me 4 years of being upset she didn’t like me to figure out I am the one who has to decide how this relationship we have will be NOT her.
Post # 4
I think that this is actually where your Fiance needs to step up and tell his mother that you are the woman that he is in love with and is marrying and that it is between you and he who is responsible for what in your home together.
Post # 5
Lots of great advice already 🙂 I hope that you can work this out.
I would keep a tigher lip about wedding planning, so that you aren’t affected by her negative attitude. My Future Mother-In-Law was awesome up to 6 months before the wedding, and now she is becoming a bit of a handful. Regardless — we have always filtered what we tell her because we don’t want problems and drama.
The wedding stuff has been handled well, the new issue is that she keeps bringing up buying a house — and wants us to buy something we don’t want. We have flat out told her we have no interest, to the point where we told her she won’t be helping us because she cannot accept our decision. You have to stand by your convictions, because neither opinion is wrong outright, but she has no right to push her opinions on you.
Post # 6
Thank you everyone for the advice