(Closed) My mother asking me why I can't be "normal" for a day. /long

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Your wedding, your day, your rules. My fiance and i arent having a typical wedding either (our reception is in a soccer stadium). My mom had reservations before i showed her my vision, now she loves it. Its your day, it should be true to who you are. I think it could be really cute!

Post # 4
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

you probably won’t like what I have to say but I don’t get the wings thing either – it’s not about being “normal” or not, I just don’t understand why a wedding would be an appropriate time to bust out in costume.  I understand bringing personal preferences and your and your FI’s personality into your wedding to a reasonable point. I think a lot of weddings with “themes” are way overdone and take away from the fact a wedding is a serious event.  All in all, I think you can bring your interests and personality to your wedding without dressing up in costume. Just my point of view.  

And yes, while it is your wedding, it is also about bringing two families together so I do believe in respecting both of your families wishes for some things when it comes to the wedding – regardless of who is paying for it.

Serious question – do you go around in your everyday life wearing wings (to work, etc?)  If not, then why would you do it on your wedding?  Just my line of thinking…

Post # 5
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Could you maybe compromise and wear the wings at your reception and dance (if you have one) and just go a little more on the traditional side for your mom for your wedding? I mean you can still wear whatever dress you want, but compromise on the wings to satsify both sets of parents?

While it is you and your FI’s day, it is also about your guests, and depending on how close you are with your parents I would compromise on this one.

Post # 6
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MrsWBS:  +1

I agree,…

Post # 7
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Look I think  you should always be yourself. I think it’s cool when couples incorporate things they like into their wedding whether that sports, Disney which seems to be popular these days, or whatever else. People are always going to be put off by anyone doing things that aren’t traditional.

My only caution is sometimes people get so caught up in the theme they lose site of what should be most important theme which is marriage, commitment and love. I think there is a way to tasteful incorporate this theme, one way is by not being so literal in your interpretation. To find a nice balance between expressing yourself and not making your family and guest feel uncomfortable.

To be completely honest I don’t know how serious I could take a bride in wings. I think it’s important to wear what you want even if it’s out side of the norm. But also don’t n turn your wedding attire into a costume.

I think your mother needs a little tact and her comments about bridesmaids are rude, and discriminatory for lack of better word.

I urge you to really think the reason for the wedding and to not get to wrapped up or carried away with this theme. Good luck

Post # 8
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsWBS:  I have to respectfully disagree with you about the “busting out a costume.” Isn’t that what a wedding is?  I know, for sure, that I don’t walk around in a white wedding dress with full make-up and hair did, on a regular basis.. or at all.    While the fairy wings wouldn’t be my thing for a wedding, it is totally up to her and her Fiance on what their vision for the day is. 

And while a wedding is a serious event, it is also a celebration.  Shoot, I’m having karoake at my wedding, and we will be singing the first song!  To each their own, I say! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

Post # 9
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mousebride:  Check out offbeatbride.com

There are several weddings on there with fairy wings and they’re gorgeous! It does not take away from the seriousness of the wedding…it represents the two of you as a couple. Since when did clothing make someone serious or not?! God forbid someone crack a joke the whole day then…it might ruin the wedding!

And just so you know, FH and I are having a Victorian Steampunk wedding. We met onstage at the theatre and are both very artistic so it represents us perfectly.

Post # 10
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Maybe I’m just a big weirdo, but wings seem normal to me, haha. Then again, I wore them in high school and go to renaissance faires, etc. Whatever.

I think your mom is being a bitch, personally, but, because you’re having a church wedding, the wings should wait until the reception. If you were having an outdoor ceremony, wing it up, but they’re going to look very out of place in a church, Zelda theme or not. 

Post # 11
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@mousebride:  Don’t despair! Everyone has disagreements about the details of your special day.

It is YOUR day. You have to fight for your vision and have confidence that you are making the right choices for you and your Fiance. If you want wings, go for it.

However. As others have pointed out. A wedding is about joining families and making some compromises for the comfort and inclusion of both sides. Perhaps wings at the reception and not in a Catholic church? Is your mom contributing towards the cost of the wedding? If so, you should try to compromise and help her feel included.

Post # 12
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@redness82:  +1 If a bride shouldn’t wear a ‘costume’ then Alfred Angelo better stop selling all those Disney princess bridal gowns…because that’s EXACTLY what they are….dresses made to look like the princesses in the movie.

And on the train of thought…this is making me picture Drew Barrymore in Ever After…she was breathtaking!

Post # 13
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

HEY LISTEN! (in Navi’s voice, of course)

Obviously you are not “normal” so why should you be for one day just to please one person. You need to please yourself. Period. I would add and your fiance to the “You need to please yourself”, but he already likes your idea.

I disagree with the previous posters, but that is just me. If you and your fiance love to cosplay and make costumes. . . why not show it at your wedding? Other than at cons, where can you show that side?

Remember that this is a wedding between you and your fiance. If you look at it as a joining of two families, then your families should support the two of you in whatever you wish to do.

I look forward to seeing pictures of your wedding!

By the way. . . I just saw a beautiful wedding where the bride wore a grey dress with black fairy wings and it was stunning!

Post # 14
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Wear what makes you feel pretty and do what makes you feel comfortable.

If your mother has an issue, just tell her that if she’s willing to pay, she can get a say.

Otherwise it’s your day, so do what makes you happy.

Post # 16
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@mousebride:  You will love it! I have so many ideas that came from that site and the boards are very supportive no matter what you decide to do. There are a lot of LGBT weddings or people in the bridal party as well so that might be helpful too…just remember to express yourself (meaning you and your FI) on your big day!

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