(Closed) My mother doesn’t want me to marry him

posted 9 years ago in Christian
Post # 32
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@LacrosseBride: maybe because you came at her so harshly at the beginning of her thread it is making her less open to your suggestions? I personally didn’t feel upset by how you posted, but the way I read it, it sounded a bit harsh.

Post # 33
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with the above posters. Also, have you invitied your mom to your Church services? This may help her come to terms or atleast grasp your new faith. It is your mom and I realize that she is a very influential part of your life, but in the end it is your life.

Post # 36
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@missrandirobot: I tried to find it, but maybe I missed it.  Could you better explain what your mother says about why she doesn’t like him?  It sounds like she doesn’t think he’s financially secure (based on the car comment) and perhaps that he isn’t Catholic??  Anything else?

Post # 37
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@missrandirobot: I think sometimes it’s just hard for parents to accept that their “baby” isn’t a baby anymore. I wonder if this is where it is coming from for your mom concerning your current bf and how she has handled previous ones? 

Post # 39
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@Annebanan:  Wow – it’s amazing that people can read tone in a post! Smile

The OP said her mother doesn’t think he’s marriage worthy.  Then she said she pleaded with her mother to be happy for her.  Begging a person to be happy for you, as opposed to explaining why they’re marriage worthy, isn’t the same!  I wanted to know if she explained to her mother how he was marriage worthy! Smile   And, possibly to help her strengthen her case if necessary!Smile

 

Post # 41
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You may have think you’ve proved yourself, but your mom will always see you as her daughter. My parents are always telling me theyre proud of me and how independent I am, and then when certain things happen I get treated like a child – and I take it because I’m used to it. it’s been the topic of a couple of fights with my Fiance and I, he says they will treat me like a child as long as I let them. Perhaps its not through your actions that you can prove it to your mother, but by actually telling her.

I think another heart to heart with her will help a lot. Try to see things from her side, and try to help her see yours. One of my favorite sayings: What is worrying you today, could disappear tomorrow. Life is dynamic and is constantly changing, so don’t despair 🙂 I’m sure you two will work through this 🙂

Post # 42
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Questions … which might be the answer to all of your problems Smile …

1.  Did your parents marry young?  You stated they’re divorced.  Therefore, if they married young, that could be the reason to your mother’s reaction.

2.  Is your boyfriend anything (looks, personality, background, religious beliefs, etc.) like your father?  If so, she may be projecting her experiences onto you and wants to “save” you from that. 

Either of those reasons could be the cause for your mother feeling the way she does.

 

 

Post # 44
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@LacrosseBride:LOL! Thanks Laughing for adding the Smile faces! Totally Smile can read you better Smile now! I agree wholeheartedly Smile, it is much more effective to basically argue why HE is marriage material, why HIM over the other boyfriends in her life, and what stands out about HIm.

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