(Closed) My mother gave away my engagment ring

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow…. that is terrible. So your Grandmother “gave” it to your Mom but had “promised” it to your older cousin??? Just curious … if your Fiance already proposed with it, why wasn’t it on your finger?

Post # 4
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@blingybride: I think she said her mom was taking it to get resized.

 

@Luckygal5571: Ok I would be pretty unhappy. To have that be your engagement ring and have it for 5 months and then have your mom send it to your cousin without you knowing? Maybe you can call your cousin and explain what happened? I know if someone had gotten engaged and had the ring for 5 months I wouldn’t be like well it was promised to me, too bad for you. I can’t believe your mom did that without talking to you!

Post # 6
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ouch! My heart hurts for you my friend. I would try talking to your cousin and ask if you couldn’t please wear it until you and Fiance can afford a new one. The ring no matter how sentimental isn’t work the rift it will cause in your family. But this does bite big time.

Post # 8
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I guess I read it wrong, thanks for clarification. Again, so sorry for both of you. 

Post # 9
Member
5011 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

Gosh! That sounds absolutely awful! Has your grandma made any kind of apology for her behaviour? Your cousin must be pretty heartless to be happy taking your engagement ring!

Post # 11
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

That is… insane.  I’m sorry, but HOW did you end up with the ring if it was meant for someone else???  Especially when your cousin has been engaged for YEARS longer than you have???  If your cousin wanted it, she should’ve brought it up WHEN SHE GOT ENGAGED, not after the ring was given to someone else. I’m sure your fiance will understand at least your side of this…  But good grief!  

ETA:  That was your mom’s ring for 30 years?  Then it’s your mom’s ring!!!  NOT your cousin’s.  When your grandma gave your mom the ring, she gave up the right to pass it on to people.

Post # 12
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just read your update… so YOUR mother has worn it as HER wedding ring?????? This is complex and I understand why your Mom would assume it was HERS to do whatever she wanted. 

Post # 14
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

wow! what an experience. I would recommend your mom buy a ring herself, then “pass it on to you”, so you still get a ring from her (if that’s important to you). you don’t want a ring from grandma anyway, if she’s going to go promising it to other people and always feel ‘ownership’ over it. : geez.

Post # 15
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Holy cow. I would FLIP OUT. Honestly, I am not much of a help and I am sorry for that, but I would be freaking out on that cousin right now!

Post # 16
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Oh, I am so sorry.  I know that when my mom passed on, she had a list of things that each of us were supposed to receive, and some smaller slips of paper with names and things listed, and there were a few discrepancies, (she had forgotten and listed a couple of things twice) so sorry this happened.  But since your mom had worn it for so long I feel like it really belonged to her. But she probably didn’t want to make things bad between family-so just gave it up. But that is definitely so sad for her and you.  🙁

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