(Closed) My mother gave away my engagment ring

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Holy Snap that’s super crazy and I feel so bad for you. Have you talked to FH yet? What does he think?

Post # 18
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Omg! If your grandmother gave your mom that ring, it is your mom’s ring!! Especially after 30 years! How could your cousin take it away from her? Wow…I’m so sorry OP ๐Ÿ™

Post # 19
Member
36 posts
Newbee

Wow!!  I would be livid if my mother did that without consulting you first. It was offically your ring at that point.

If it was prior to that your grandmothers & she knew you had it, while obviously it went were she ultimately wanted it to go.

& the cousin!!!  How selfish!!!  It’s just a ring which now has way more significance to you than her!  Seriously she should have brought it up in a loving way.. It is family & maybe see if she could be left something else. I am horrified she took your engagement  ring when you used unknowing she was to have, now we assuming this is the ring she thinks she was supposed to get right???  Did grandma verify that?? 

Seriously, family heirlooms are giving as memory out if love. Not so sure she seems entitled to anything now. If your grandmother knew the nonsense going on right now I am sure this would upset her dearly!!  

Good luck with it!!  Your Fiance loves you & I am sure only cares that he gets a lifetime of you!!  Everything else will work itself out!!  : ) 

 

Post # 20
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow, this is awful! If your grandma gave it to your mom to use as her wedding ring and she has had it for decades, it is your mom’s property. I understand why your mom mailed it away (she was probably so upset over the whole situation that she did it out of anger and hurt), but she really shouldn’t have. Your cousin is being unreasonable, and your grandma even more so. I’m so sorry this happened!

Post # 20
Member
3345 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This sucks!  Really, really sucks! Really, really, REALLY SUCKS! I think you are taking the whole situation in a very graceful manner though.  If it was me I think I would get sick everytime I saw or thought of my cousin!  Did she have a ring if they have been engaged after 4 years…?    Do you know if they were counting on getting the ring?  Why did she not say anything before?  Did she not know?  I think the worst part is that you got attached to it, then it was ‘snatched’ away! 

Post # 21
Member
6980 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@mckernae: +1 

 

Seriously. This was your MOTHER’S ring. If your grandma gave it to her to wear as her ring– it is hers. I don’t understand giving it to your mom then promising it to your cousin, that makes no sense. And why would your cousin EVER think it was reasonable to inherit a ring that her AUNT had worn for decades when she had a daughter of her own. Crazy.

Post # 22
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sure your mom did only what she tought was best for everyone. Your mom probably knows how understanind you -obviously- are and knew that it would hurt, but this is something you can share with your mother… if it was me, i would allow the cousin to have the ring and go out with my mother to find the perfect ring for you…I know the charm of an antique ring- mine was made in the 50’s- and many jewelers have a safe where they keep disguarded and vintage pieces. shop around and ask..maybe even share your story and see what people will do for the bride with a big heart ๐Ÿ™‚ good luck sweetie

Post # 23
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Im so sorry, but if its any consolation it will be known as your engagement ring ๐Ÿ™‚ what does seem strange is that is still your mothers ring, what if your mom still wants it? If it became your moms ring then your grandma couldnt promise it, your mom would be the one promising it…

Post # 24
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was typing really fast… excuse the type-os!

Post # 25
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yikes this is crazy! I completely agree with the pp that said you are better off without it and all the drama that would likely come in the future as your family members would continue to claim title to it even if it was on your finger. Shame on your grandmother for giving one ring to 2 different people, shame on your cousin for ever thinking its ok to take a ring her aunt was given, and shame on your mother for telling you she was sending your ring to be sized and then giving it to your cousin rather than standing her/your ground… This must be some ring ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 26
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Luckygal5571: why the heck wasn’t she wearing the ring 4 years ago!?!?! If it was her ring she would have been wearing it.

That makes no sense! Call your grandmother!

Post # 27
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

This is insane… your cousin seems jealous because you are recently engaged and will probably be married by the time she sets a date… ha

Post # 28
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

That’s insane! If it were me, I don’t care how old my grandmother is, she has no right to act like that! I would also tell my cousin that it’s tough biscuts because if dear old gradma wanted the ring to go to her, it would have gone to her mother and not mine.

Maybe that’s just me… Embarassed

Post # 29
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow that is crazy! I am so sorry this happened. Why would your gma not tell anyone of this promise could your cousin be making that up bc she is jealous?

Post # 30
Member
2304 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would be extremely pissed at cousin, and grandmother! She already gave it to your mom, if she didn’t want her to have it, or pass it on, then she should have never given it to her. You don’t promise a ring to someone when you give it someone else. And cousin, man would I be livid! If i was promised a ring, and it was given to the daughter of the lady who had it, I wouldn’t ask for it. You have every right to be pissed!

@MissComicBook: I agree with you!

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