My mother has opinions…

posted 3 months ago in Family
  • poll: What would you do?
    Ignore anyone and everyone with a different opinion : (72 votes)
    86 %
    Compromise with her : (10 votes)
    12 %
    Let her have her way : (0 votes)
    Have FH speak to her about it hurting my feelings : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    746 posts
    Busy bee

    That’s the spirit! Let this mark a transition in your life where the opinion that matters most is your own. Self-trust and self-love will serve you (and, ultimately, those that you cherish) very well. Hugs! Don’t let “mom guilt” get to you. That whole “I won’t attend if you do XYZ” is emotional blackmail. Not healthy and not part of a sound mother-daughter relationship. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    It is all beautiful and it’s going to be stunning! Do not compromise! 

    I’ll bet everyone will talking about it any how different and amazing it was and in the end she will be all proud 😃

    Enjoy !

    Post # 18
    Member
    5759 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    In general I would say don’t listen to your mom and do whatever you want! However the only thing i will say is as nice as that cake looks visually, it doesn’t look like it would taste nice because of the strong black icing so that is something to keep in mind.. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    41 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Just wanted to say, I also got married in a black dress (vintage Lanvin couture – humblebrag). It wasn’t even long.

     

    not one person mentioned anything about the colour to me. To be honest I don’t think people really care.

     

    Regarding the cake – it looks beautiful. Truth be told I don’t care about the cake, what it looks like and rarely eat it when served so I would say have the cake that you want  

     

    Do do what you want – your theme looks lovely and I’m sure you will look so stunning that no one (your mother included) would even think to make snarky comments when you look so happy. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

    I love your theme, and the dress is beautiful. Frankly, anyone who would miss their child’s wedding because they didn’t like the dress is being beyond ridiculous. Don’t give in to your mum’s tantrum, have the wedding you want, she’ll get over it.

    Post # 21
    Member
    776 posts
    Busy bee

    Is she helping pay? If not, she doesn’t get an opinion. That cake and dress are gorgeous! I’m guessing she’s testing the waters to see how much she can get compromise wise so don’t give in! And from now on don’t share details with her. She can find out at the wedding like any other guest. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee

    nataliesawitch :  Ummm. I freaking love that cake!!!! Probably the coolest wedding cake I have ever seen and I am NOT just saying that. If that wedding dress is your style and reflects the relationship you have with your fiance and who you are as a couple…that is fantastic! Go with it! I am sure you will look beautiful. This is YOUR wedding day. Not Mom’s. Go with what you want! Do not compromise. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee

    nataliesawitch :  And as far as people having black icing stains on their mouths….who cares? They’ll survive. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

    sweetiemermaid :  I thought the same thing about the icing. Our wedding cake had bright blue icing, nobody had a blue mouth, nobody complained. I love the black icing, I’d definitely eat a slice!

    Post # 25
    Member
    8273 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    just to chime in on the cake – we had a cake with black fondant and I didn’t see any stained mouths or hear complaints about it. Besides who actually eats the fondant? It always tastes gross lol. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    12316 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    She’s entitled to have her own taste and opinion, but not to control what you do. Everyone would be happy for their guests and moms to like their choices, of course. If yours are on the unconventional side, you just have to be OK with the fact that it will likely not be to everyone’s taste. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee

    LilliV :  No joke!! I vaguely remember eating it at a baby shower on the cake they served and it was not pleasant for me. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    6843 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    It all looks gorgeous, I can’t wait to see your photos!! 

    Post # 29
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee

    That cake is beautiful! I agree with PPs – no pay no say.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1246 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

    nataliesawitch :  God that all looks gorgeous!!! Go for it, it’s your wedding and everyone else can get over it. 

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