(Closed) My mother HATES…

posted 8 years ago in Beauty
Post # 3
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We may actually have the same mother! You are not alone!

I stopped dying my hair blond about 4 years ago and I still get crap from her (and my dad) everytime I get my hair done.  It’s a dark brown now and my SO much prefers it this color than blond.  I keep explaining to them that when I look in the mirror, I’m not a blond, I’m a brunette– they just can’t seem to ‘get it’. 

Who gives a crap what color my hair is, it’s MY hair.  I don’t like her crappy hair cut, but I don’t constantly remind her… rant over.

Post # 4
Member
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m really sorry that your mom thinks that hair is so important. I’m probably not the best person to be giving you advice on looks because I don’t care that much what my hair looks like, and I don’t wear make-up, but I think you should flat out tell your mom that you are not having the “hair” convo again, and her comments are noted.

My mom and I argue quite a bit, but I think it’s mostly because we’re so similar and hate to admit it.  Everything we argue about is petty and turns into a bigger deal than it needs to be, but in this case, your mom is being a little rude, especially when she says it in front of other people.

Post # 5
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

rant not over… the icing on the cake was that my best friend also prefers my hair blond and she asked me to have it blond for her wedding since that’s the ‘me’ she wanted in her pictures!  I obliged, because I love her… but as soon as the wedding was over I dyed it back and it was like the end of the world when my mother saw it. “you look so much prettier with it blond, couldn’t you just have kept it” yaddy yadda…. OK, rant actually over now.

Post # 9
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

My mom used to say some pretty childish things like that, until I told her how bad it hurt me that she didn’t love me for who I was.  After that, all she needed was a dagger look and she shut right up.  I’d say time to mention something to her.

Post # 10
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

mom my is the same way. I actually just got off the phone with her and the topic was my hair. She says now that I’m engaged, she will treat me to getting my hair done. ( which is nice, since I haven’t had it done since march) but I think that she will be telling me that I should go back blond. I look horrible blond!

Post # 11
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am a natural red head & coloring my hair was OFF LIMITS when I was living under my parents roof. 

When I was 21, moved out of the house, finished university & on my own I finally dyed it a dark auburny brown/redish color.  I came home one weekend & my mom FREAKED.  She cried for hours when she saw me. 

Since than I color it all the time – blonde, red, auburn, brunette & I even went black once.  She honestly has a nervous breakdown everytime she thinks about me dying my hair & it not being my natural color.  She always goes back to “You used to have such beautiful red hair”
What she doesn’t understand is #1 – No one else in my family has red hair & growing up I hated it! I was constantly called all sorts of names (fire crotch, Ronald McDonald etc etc)  So although she may have liked it, growing up with red hair made for a bad childhood
#2 – My natural color is no longer red!  Over the years my hair went from red to strawberry blonde to dirty blonde.   Whenever she comments on “My natural color” I tell her this is my natural color (I have now dyed my hair back to my natural color now so I don’t have to worry about roots)  She will always fight with me that this is NOT my natural color – RED is!  Well that’s odd how come I haven’t dyed my hair in 6 months & I have no roots if this is not my natural color!

Sometimes mother’s just need to let go….

Post # 12
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh wow, with all due respect- she sounds really overbearing.  There isn’t much of that I could take.  I think I’d play up the guilt factor.  I’d tell her that when she says things like that, that you feel as if she doesn’t love you the way a mother should, unconditionally.  I’m sure she loves you!  But it might make her think twice before she says something that stuff.  That truly would hurt my feelings!

Post # 15
Member
2249 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

that is TERRIBLE. I cannot believe a mother would say that! And in front of people!I think that is totally inexcusable and childish and disgusting.

Post # 16
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

When she says things in front of others, I would honestly say something about how it hurts in front of them as well, so she would then become embarassed to have the bad behavior pointed out.

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