(Closed) My mother is a monster… And it’s killing me! VERY long… sry

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Have nothing really useful to say except I’m sorry.  And internet hugs! 

 Perhaps the best way to deal with your mom is to treat her nicely.  But keep her at arms length..  And just be glas that there are people who can and will takebup the mom roll. I feel bad for your siblings too

Post # 5
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so sorry that you are going through this! *HUGS*

I do have to say that I too, do not really have a relationship with my birthmother. When my sister was 2  and I was just born, she decided that she didnt want to stay home with us and went out partying all the time. She told my father (who was in the Navy and away on ship most of the time) that she didnt want to take care of us. For our safety, my dad took us to live near his parents and got a divorce. I grew up being raised by my grandparents mostly as well as my father was gone most of the time and he honestly is  the type of person who was never really meant to have children. Now, I love my father very much, but he was not very supportive growing up and is a very unemotional man even now that I have moved away from home. I am 25 years old and my dad and I have a better relationship now that I am on my own though its still hard to talk to him most of the time.

My dad married my stepmother who has been in my life since I was 13, just a few years ago. It was a long process for them because of how my father is and he has come a long way! My stepmother and grandmother will be the ones honored at my wedding because they are the ones that have been there for me all these years! I call my stepmother 2 times a week and can chat for hours! My mother only tries to chat with me on Facebook and never calls and is always saying how shes sorry that she was a horrible mother, but it doesn’t really matter much anymore. She might attend my wedding, she might not. She will also be on her 5th marriage coming up.

Ah! I’m sorry for the novel! I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in these mother issues! Though my situation is not as severe as yours seems to be, please know that you do have mother figures who love you so so much and who are they for you! Don’t let her ruin your day just for her own self satisfaction!

Post # 7
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@hiddendaughter:  Your story about your mother definitely hits close to home for me. You are not alone in this! My mother has not been there for me for the planning one step of the way and it is sad to know that her being as she is, I am probably better off for it. I’m glad your aunt and grandmother are being so supportive and filling the role.

I’m sorry your mother cannot clue in to what is going on around her. Your day and your life are not made up of thoughts only about her! She is playing the victim when it would be so easy for her to be helpful and loving and caring right now, with the wedding and all that’s involved in that.

On your wedding day you will be surrounded by your family and loved ones, and you will be so busy. You’ll be overwhelmed by all the love in the room. Your mother’s poison and pity party won’t even register as a blip on your radar.

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