Post # 1
That’s “pain in the ass.” She is so unbelievably narcissistic and selfish…the wedding and everything else in life is pretty much about her, and if I and everyone else don’t do things her way, she’ll try to get even in little ways. No one can stand her, including my FH, his family, my friends and family, other people who spend time around her, etc.
The rest I’ll save for the “emotional” part of the board. Believe I am doing everything I can to avoid her involvement in the wedding and for the most part I’m successful with it, it will still be a happy day….
Whatever, here’s the deal: I know I would like the hair/makeup person to come to the house instead of going to the salon, at least at this point it’s what I’m leaning toward. I’m staying at my parents’ the night before. Last year she thought of having someone come to the house. But she’s always had this weird thing with not wanting a stranger to come to the house. So suddenly she’s back to that, she’d rather go to a salon about fifteen minutes away the morning of the wedding.
I have promised myself not to get into any more fights with her….She tends to put up tantrums and fights and then after you get all upset she gives in to what you want in the end anyway, and then acts as though you were making such a big deal over nothing, “see? it’s solved.” Basically I could get what I want but only if I’m willing to fight, scream, get frustrated and insulted which only ends up hurting me later on. And this is what she wants, to get me upset– she tends to get jealous when other people have the spotlight and are happy. I have said to myself…NO MORE, I’m not going to let her have that satisfaction.
How can I convince her it’s better to have someone come to the house without going through all that hell? Like, what could I say?
Post # 3
if she is not coopertive, is there somewhere else you can stay? bm’s home or hotel?
just tell her that you decided having someone come to you is the ONLY way for it to work out and you dont want to make her uncomfertable with a stranger in the house so you are staying elsewhere.
we will definitly be having someone come to us for makeup and hair. that way the girls that arent being worked on can work on other morning-of stuff instead of sitting around. (or sleep later if everything is done already) taking unnessesary trips anywhere that day is not worth it.
stand your ground and nip this must-get-it-her-way attitude in the bud.
GL Hope This Helps
Post # 4
Ugh, I feel your pain. My Mother is much the same.
Can you try talking rationally with your mother about it being your one and only wedding day and stating the pros of the stylists coming to her house & the cons of having to go to the salon? There’s no point in trying to talk rational with my mom, though, she’s sooo selfish and self-centered. I’m just trying to imagine what I’d say to my Mom if I were in your situation.
I’m getting married in th city my Mom lives in but I’m planning on renting a hotel room with my BMs the night before the wedding so I dont have to deal with my Mom on whats supposed to be the happiest day of my life!
Post # 5
I’m going to write it out carefully and plan (sad, isn’t it)?
I like your idea…pros and cons.
If she gives trouble about that I will do the one and only wedding day discussion.
And as a last resort I’ll tell her that since this is the only way it will work for me and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable I’m staying someplace else. Actually I think she’d give in if I said that.
But I’d be bluffing because I don’t think I actually can go anywhere else though. It’s easier for everyone, my whole family, my Maid/Matron of Honor and her family, and some other family and friends, if we’re at my parents.’ It’s really only my mom who’s a pain. My father and brothers who will be there are fine. My Maid/Matron of Honor, whose children are the flower girl and ring bearer doesn’t drive and it’s easiest for her and her family to take a cab to my parents’ than anywhere else. And her husband and a couple of her other relatives are coming who don’t drive and really want to be at my parents. It’s easier for all of them to come to my parents,’ it’s closest and most convenient for them, as well as for a couple of my bridesmaids and some other people. We’re all going in the limo and it’s easiest if the limo came there, what with where the highway is to get to the church, for everyone to get there on time to the limo — my parents’ is just the best landmark, where everyone knows. It’s less stressful for me if we’re all at the same place at the same time.