(Closed) My mother is driving me crazyy….I could use some advice!

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow, are you sure your not dealing with my mom??

My mom has even made the comment “who cares about mr.3m”  uhh, what??

My mom has helped with a lot and she is paying for alot of it but you have to remind your mom that this is your wedding and this is what YOU like.

Tell her that you will consider her opinions but ultimately this is your decision.  You may have to be blunt about it and it may hurt her feelings for a minute but she will come around and realize it. 

Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I unfortunately have no advice for you, but it is kind of nice to read that someone else is having problems with their mother!

My mom has really been crazy about everything recently. She freaks out anytime my Mother-In-Law wants to help with something wedding related, which is ridiculous, but also doubly ridiculous because my mom takes no interest in helping me plan! I am sick of my mother’s negative attitude about it all and no talking with her directly has not helped.

Most recently she is freaking out about my bridal shower saying she is not going to pay a lot of money for it, but in the same breath saying that she is no Betty Crocker and we have to get this event catered. At least my MOH is doing the majority of the shower planning, but my Mom keeps intruding. I have felt like telling her that she is just sucking the fun and joy out of my wedding:(

Post # 5
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ha, I did tell my mom she was being a ruiner.  She didnt let me be engaged for 20 mins before calling me all day everyday to plan stuff and get it taken care of in advance.  

What sucks now is that i made decisions because she wants to get it all planned and paid for things while she can make payments but now I am changing my mind about certain things and she gets mad because its something we already did.

Post # 6
Member
1816 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Is she always like this?  Or is this her way of coping with the fact that you are getting married and moving on?

Maybe there is a way that you can tell her that while you value her input/help/etc. that you really need her to support your decisions about your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You know, when my mom starts driving me crazy I ask her questions about her wedding.  Like what did you like about it?  What was the most frustrating part of planning, etc.

I’ve found that by remindering her that she’s already had a wedding and that she didn’t like the feeling of pressure put on her by her parents, we have a better communication pattern.

Just something you might want to try.

Post # 9
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’d have a nice talk with her and kindly tell her to back off. Yes, she is partially paying for the wedding, but that doesn’t give her the right to dictate every decision that is made. My Future Mother-In-Law is kind of similar to your mother, but in a different sense. She likes to tell my fiance what to do and when to do it. If he doesn’t agree or do it her way, she’ll be disappointed and try to persuade him to do things her way.

 

She stopped when he got fed up and said, “mom, you need to back off a little bit. It’s my life, I’m an adult, I pay my own bills and am getting married. You can’t try to control me.”Now, things are fine and dandy between everyone.

Maybe all your mother needs is a firm talk. Don’t try and spare her feelings, if she tries to “cry wolf” tell her to wait until you’re done explaining your views on the situation. It may be awkward for a week or two, but it’ll likely be the reality check she needs to step off out of her controlling ways and let you be the bride.

Post # 10
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Paisley, you need to change your name…

Post # 11
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

LOL i cant help but laugh but this is like the second or third time i have seen KMSull say this…

Anyway on another note Miss Paisley I am sorry you are going through this… this is why I chose to just have my fiance and myself pay for the wedding. I love to hear what my mother says but I dont feel obligated to do anything anyone else says… beside being my day its my money… Good luck with all the planning!

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