Post # 1
I got married on September 10, 2011 and I haven’t talked to my mother since.
My maid of honor, bridesmaid, and I started decorating at 8 am that morning for my wedding that started at 12:30 When my mother came at 11 we had almost everything done, I only needed to finish the seating chart. I used candy buffet bags and wrote each guest name on them, and used those as there name cards. After finishing the seating chart I told everyone I need to go get ready, and then I see my mother. She grabbed every bag and started putting them down, changed the seating chart. She tells me this is only for the close friends and family. I told her to stop and that I had to go get ready. Now its time for the ceremony and I haven’t seen my mom since she was changing the seating chart. Everyone begins to walk down and then I see my mother stand up and block the wedding party stopping the ceremony right when I’m walking down, to thank everyone for coming okay fine maybe she was trying to be nice and didn’t mean to ruin my moment, so I wasn’t to bugged by it. We are married now and its picture time! I call my parents over to take a few pictures with me, my mom takes one and says she is done with photos, that really hurt my feels. Then about 40 minutes into pictures someone comes out to tell me my mother has changed the seating chart putting my husband’s family and friends in the back, and that to told everyone to go ahead and eat and that they could move around as they please. So we end pictures early to go see what she has done, when we walk in no one even notices us, we go to get food and there isn’t any left. I got to get a drink and there isn’t any left, I come to find out right after the ceremony my mom had everyone eat so they had been eating for over any hour. So no one is paying attention to us, we can’t eat, there is nothing to drink, and people are already leaving. So one of my bridesmaid tries to take control of the situation and say its time for the first dance. We start to dance and have the people are taking a smoke break including my mother, same thing happens with the cake. I was devasted I ended up walking to the little cabin we used to get ready and just sat in there and cried. When I finally come back my mother tells me its all my husbands grandmothers fault, really?! the really old fashion 80 year old did all this?! I told my mother to go away and we haven’t talked since. She did exactly what I was scared she would do and make this her day. I’ve spent over a year planning this wedding, listening to her call me selfish for wanting a bridal shower, her tell me how my ideas were stupid, how I was to fat for my dress, her trying so hard to up stage my mother in law, and make me feel horrible, but I never thought she would ruin my day. When people start to bring up what happened that day I just ask them to please not talk about it. It just breaks my heart more each time. But atleast I’m married now and have the most increbible husband! And I got some lovely photos, so hopefully I can forget what all my mother has done to ruin my wedding experience and remember how in love I am with my husband
Post # 3
I am so sorry sweetheart. This brought tears to my eyes. I am incredibly happy to hear your outlook on the situation! You sound so strong and resilient, you are my hero! I could not move forward from what was done to you with such positive feelings towards the future. Your mother needs some serious alone time so she can hopefully reflect on herself and learn how to be a decent human being.
Post # 4
Your photo was beautiful! My wedding was a flop, and some of that is b/c of mom… but I also have beautiful photos and the amazing memory of saying our vows. We can’t choose our mothers but we can choose a different life’s path for ourselves, with loving husbands.
Post # 5
Wow. So sorry to hear about your big day as well as your Mom doing this to you. You have a wonderful outlook on it though!
What I might do if I were in your shoes would be to have another wedding on your 1 year anniversary! Even if it is just you and your hubby! Make this wedding YOUR wedding! Do what you want to do and eat all of the food you missed out on! regardless, you’ll be fine and the picture you posted looks beautiful!
I wish the best for you and your mother, although she really needs a reality check as well as a good thrashing! That sort of blows my mind. but hopefully she can come to you with an apology and start making up for what she did to you and your wedding!
Best of luck!
Post # 6
@JeanieRae: I’m so sorry to hear this. Good for you for looking at the positive side. When I was reading your description of things your mother did. I couldn’t help but think that some of your mother’s behavour didn’t even make sense. I wonder if there is something serious going on with her. Regardless, I liked the idea someone else proposed of you having another special celebration, even if it is just you and your husband. You deserve to feel special and have a wonderful moment together celebrating your marriage.
Post # 7
how awful 🙁 im so sorry your mom did this to you. I say have a vow renewal next year and DONT invite her. regardless if you make up or not. thats just terrible. Im so glad your looking at the positives though! hang in there!!!
Post # 8
That’s terrible!!! 🙁 It’s good that your focusing on the good in your life: your husband. Hopefully, in time, things will heal. <3 *hugs*
Post # 9
I think that in the near future, maybe your 5 year anniversay throw a smaller cermony with those that important and re-do it. That way you will have a more positive experience to reflect on.
I worry about this happening with my FI”s grandmother and she had a fit at our engagment party that really upset me. I told him if she even tried I would have my aunts make her leave, no questions asked and if it happens i dont wanna know about it. It’s too bad no one was there to take control of the situation.
Post # 10
Your mother is rude! (Please do forgive me.) I never understand how ANYone can do such things during a couples wedding. Don’t they understand that the bride and groom will always remember it.
On the flip side… your are married. And that is what you wanted to accomplish. So enjoy being a newlywed!
@crystalirene: I agree! Having a vow renewal is a great idea!
Post # 11
How terrible and awful! Did you endure this while growing up? You have your Darling Husband and he loves you! I agree, a future anniversary party/vow renewal would be fabulous for you. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had all of this famliy drama.
Post # 12
I’m so sorry you went through this. I agree with the idea of a vow renewal. A big hug for you sweetheart.
Post # 13
So glad that you are being so positive. Know that you’re the better person for not going all Bridezilla on her (as I am sure that you would have liked to do!)
Your mother is probably jealous, and most definitely never let her steal your joy!!!
OAN, this is EXACTLY why my mother won’t be at my wedding.
Post # 14
@Baby_Diva: Exactly. If my family member did this, I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t go completely batshit crazy on them — and I’m a pretty calm person.
Post # 15
My mom is a narcissist and I’m leaving her out of everything.
I’m SO SORRY this happened to you.
Post # 16
@JeanieRae: Im so sorry this happened to you. At least when it was all said and done, you married the man of your dreams and thats all that matters. I hope that everything works out for you.