(Closed) My Mother wants to wear a black dress

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
9101 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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carrjc66:  I’m usually right at the head of the “who cares, let them wear what they want parade” but I agree that a MOB wearing black could give the impression that she disapproves of the marriage. And I happen to think black and navy look bad together. It’s not a hill I would die on by any means, but I would probably ask if she’s aware that this used to mean the parent was protesting (or “mourning”) the wedding. I wouldn’t bring it up again and wouldn’t let it bother me. It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme.

Post # 17
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Black is sopisticated — so really think of it as a beautiful color!  Thinking that it should only be worn for funerals a bit short sighted.  Your mom would look stunning — and if she wants to wear it – so be it.  IF she came and wanted to rock Neon Green and Neon Orange — then… we would need to sit down and chat!  

Post # 18
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I don’t think anyone will think she’s unhappy. A lot of women wear black to wedding because of how flattering the color is. If she’s happy in black let her wear black.

Post # 19
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

Your mom is an adult, let her dress herself. Black is a fine color and not only for funerals.

Post # 21
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee

When both my daughter’s married, both of their mothers in law wore black evening gowns. They had formal, evening weddings. I’d estimate that half the female guests wore black.

You’re actually lucky she was thinking of wearing black. My mother in law wore a blue, floral print, to my wedding.

Post # 22
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

You care too much about what people think. I doubt anyone would even notice or give a second thought to what color you mom is wearing. Let her wear what she wants. Actually, nowadays many people don’t even wear black to funerals. 

Post # 23
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee

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carrjc66:  Well, it sure sounds like it- she’s comfortable in and prefers black, but you don’t want her to wear it because you think she’ll clash with your bridesmaids. Who cares if her reasons are “erroneous”? She doesn’t need to give you what you consider a good reason, she’s a grown woman. That should be enough. 

Post # 24
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

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carrjc66:  I wouldn’t worry too much and just let her do what makes her happy. You have enough things to stress about to add one more to yours list. I wish my mom was wearing black! I think is elegant and timeless, there is only 35 days left to my wedding and my mother has not bought a dress yet talk about annoying 

Post # 25
Member
5089 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is this a regional thing? My mom wore black to my wedding and looked radiant. No one ever would have thought she disapproved. I’ve always heard that black is a classic and classy color to wear to an evening wedding. (I’m in the Northeast, FWIW.)

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by  mightywombat.
Post # 27
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

I don’t see the big deal. I think the ‘rule’ about wearing black to weddings went out the window a long time ago. FYI my mom wore black.

That being said; if this is one of your BIG wedding issues; you could ask her to please also look at black dresses with secondary color in the bust-neck area and navy dresses. Make your request very nicely and only once and then let it go.

 

Post # 29
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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carrjc66:  in some cultures wearing white is a funeral/mourning colour, yet the majority of Western brides still wear white dresses to their weddings. If she wants to wear black, let her wear black. 

One of my good friends’ mom wore black at her daughters wedding and she looked great! Her being unhappy with the marriage or wedding never crossed my mind. 

Post # 30
Member
1496 posts
Bumble bee

No one is going to think that. It’s the year 2015, times change. Black is no longer just for funerals. No one is going to ask you about it so just let her wear what she wants.

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