(Closed) My Mother wants to wear a black dress

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
4239 posts
Honey bee

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carrjc66:  Then why was your only objection in the OP about her clashing, and not being worried people will think she disapproves? Which no reasonable person would think, by the way. Believe me, they aren’t thinking that hard about what your mother is wearing besides “she looks nice”. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  ClaudiaKishi.
Post # 33
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

Um, nobody will think your mother is unhappy with your marriage because she is wearing black.  

I have worn black to many weddings, along with many other people also wearing black.  It is a universally flattering color to wear, I personally feel very confident in many of the black dresses that I own.  Since your mother will likely be photographed more than once at your wedding, I’m sure she wants to feel her best.  

Unless it’s a little sexy cocktail dress, I don’t really see the big deal.  I actually showed my mother some black dresses for her to wear at my wedding, since she has gained weight recently and I know she is feeling self conscious.  She ended up choosing something dark blue, but I would never have a problem with black.  I’m actually considering a black dress as my reception gown!

Post # 34
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

OP, if your mum’s clothes are mostly black then that’s what she obviously feels most comfortable in, whether you feel she looks better in colours is irrelevant.

Let her wear black, it’s an elegant colour, it’s not like she’s wearing white. 

Post # 35
Member
7559 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Wait, what? Clothing can be used to show approval or disapproval? that’s a new one on me!

OP: let your mother wear whatever she wants.I’m sure she will look lovely.

Post # 36
Member
2330 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
carrjc66:  People will not think she disapproves of the wedding by wearing black. People don’t really give a damn. They are going to be looking at her big smile and happy teary eyes. 

And black IS slimming. I wear black to weddings every chance I get. 

And when my mom and Mother-In-Law picked their dresses for the wedding, I didn’t even go with them. Why? Because I didn’t really care to be there. They picked what they felt comfortable and beautiful in and that was good enough for me.

There is plenty to worry about with wedding planning. This shouldn’t be it. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  MrsPiggles.
Post # 37
Member
1323 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

in asia the mother of the bride wears black to weddings. let your mother wear what she wants. 

Post # 38
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think black is fine and elegant. Let her wear it if that’s what she feels most comfortable in.

In my mind, if she disapproved of the wedding, she wouldn’t be there. I really don’t think guests will think she disapproves because she’s wearing black.

Post # 39
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My self personally I dont see the big deal with wearing black to a wedding, to be honest my mother will probley wear something black but thats about the only color she wears. But I would let her wear what she wants to wear she will feel better about her self on the day if she chose what to wear 

But I husband would agree with you about not wearing black to a wedding he feels the same way

I am sure its gonna be fun when he fines out my mother is gonna wear black to ours

Post # 40
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My mom is wearing black to our wedding. 

Honestly, your mom will give off a better vibe at your wedding wearing something she’s comfortable and happy in than something that makes her uncomfortable… because her discomfort will be more noticeable than the color!

Post # 41
Member
766 posts
Busy bee

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carrjc66:  I think black being a “funeral color” is a pretty outdated fashion guideline.  I’ve seen a lot of moms wear black to weddings and look stunning.  People will be paying much more attention to how she’s acting than the color she’s wearing!  If she’s wearing black and looks happy, people will assume she’s happy.

Post # 42
Member
1978 posts
Buzzing bee

I think she should wear what she wants. She’ll be comfortable – with a smile on her face, people won’t be inclined to assume she’s disapproving of the marriage 🙂

Post # 43
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

My mom was looking at all these dresses that were bright blue and lacy, etc. Just not in keeping with my vision for the wedding at all. Any time I said I didn’t like something she was idly looking at she’d say, “I’m going to wear whatever color and style I want and you can’t stop me. You don’t get to tell me what to do!” She ended up choosing a really pretty dark purple dress, so crisis averted!

Weddings bring out the crazy and stubborn in people. I’d say just let her have her black, as long as it’s a fancy/evening style dress that you wouldn’t wear to a funeral. Go shopping with her. Who knows, maybe she’ll end up changing her mind if you bring her some other dark colors to try.

Post # 44
Member
1832 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree that this is really outdated thinking.  I am a 4 time MOB who wore black to 2 of the weddings and I looked damn good!  And I was thrilled with the weddings and marriages.

your mom could wear a dress you handpicked for her and if she was disapproving of the marriage it would still show.  whether the dress is black or not has nothing to do with approval/disapproval in this day and age.

Please let this go and let her wear what she wants. 

Post # 45
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
carrjc66:  My best friend was the same way about her mother not wearing black for her wedding.  Her mother wore a dress that was black, but had a little white in it, so she said it wasn’t all black.  Best friend wasn’t happy, but didn’t stress it much.  There were more important things going on that day 

 

Have you shown mom some darker colored dresses?  Plum or eggplant?

 

Or even a darker grey

and just a side note… I hate navy and black together…just my personal opinion!!

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