(Closed) My Mother wants us to stay with her on the wedding night!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you need to sit down and have an honest conversation with your Mom. You’re getting married. You want to have time alone with your husband on your wedding night, I’m sure that’s something she had with your Dad on her wedding night. I’d suggest going over for a cup of tea, looking over the options and finding something that suits you all, but don’t compromise on your wedding night! You’re setting boundaries now for your future. If you give in your mom will always think she comes above your husband and your own feelings. Make it clear that you love her and are really excited about everything you get to do leading up to the wedding, but that your wedding night is about you and your husband. You’re absolutely right, it’s not a family vacation.

Post # 4
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Well said bakeralla, I completely agree.  Good luck hope birde, once you sit and have the heart to heart she will hopefully come around.

Post # 5
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I also agree with bakerella.  Your mom is just probably feeling sad and overwhelmed by the situation and that is ok!  But at the end of your wedding day, it is not her who you should be with, it is your new husband.  I think a good talk with her will certainly work this situation out so that everyone is happy!  Best of luck to you!

Post # 6
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would definitely say that communication is key here. And if anything, maybe it will make her open up to you, and she can tell you exactly how she is feeling and together you two will find a perfect solution to the problem. Sometimes all a person really needs is a shoulder.

Post # 7
12 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds as though while you were ‘thinking out loud’ about scenarios for lodgings, your mom was already getting excited about the idea of all the ladies staying together – hoping that would be your pick.  


While to you, it was still only a possibility, she may have hoped in her own mind this would be your choice. So while you were still thinking about what situation would fit best, she was probably running scenarios through her head of how much fun the first idea would be.  Letting it settle in.  Getting used to it.  Getting excited.


As brides, we’re still making plans.  And our moms are 4 steps ahead already finalizing the details on their own.  


Her reaction was probably so strong because she was so excited about the first idea and had hoped it was more set in stone than it actually was…


My advice to you would to tread lightly and with compassion with your mom.  It must be difficult going through an ultimately exciting time without your dad to share in the joy – both for yourself and for her.  Sounds like she was just excited and got carried away.


But the other posters are right – stand your ground on the issue of the wedding night.  There’s bound to be a happy medium.  Spend time with your mom before and of course your new hubby the next night!  Good luck sista! 





Post # 8
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think your mother is nuts and you should sit down with her and nicely as possible tell her that it is really important that you need to be with ur husband on your wedding night. Dont forget to tell her how much you love her. lol

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