- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Hi Bees – so I “came out” to my parents about mine and DH’s decision not to have kids after she finally directly asked me after years of her annoying little hints and passive aggressiveness. She didn’t have much to say in person, bu several weeks later she lashed out at me over text about several things including the CFBC thing. She texted, and I quote, “WHY WON’T YOU HAVE A BABY??!?” She is a narcissist and not a rational one and my father is her enabler so there are lots more problems than this (she pretty much is alwyas looking for something to be mad about). I blocked her after she texted me that and she ended up apologizing to me in person so I unblocked her. Now, my sister is pregnant (which I am thrilled about). You’d think my mother would just be happy about having a grandchild on the way and this would take the pressure off of me, but instead it has emboldened her to say even more things to me. At a family lunch yesterday she said, “you can always change your mind” and I just ignored it. However, she sent me another unwarranted nasty text message last night ranting about several things where she also said something along the lines of how DH must me so upset that I won’t “give him a baby” and how “it’s worth it to have a baby.”
I have made a conscious decision not to respond to the points in her nasty messages, but just wondering your thoughts and advice with this particular issue of her refusing to accept my choice. It’s not realistic for me to go no contact with her but I am trying to go as low contact as possible. Do you think I should address her comments about the CFBC saying it is none of her business and not open for discussion? Or should I just ignore? Have any of you dealt with similar issues (having a selfish/toxic parent or family member who refuses to accept your choice not to have kids)? If so how did you deal with it. It’s just so hurtful and I feel like I shouldn’t have to constantly explain my reasons. Deciding not to have kids was not an easy decision for me either because I love kids, but I feel it is the best decision for me (DH is on the same page as me).