- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
So, this morning I wake up, sun shining through the windows. My adorable BF and dogs are lounging around watching tv and everyone’s in a great mood. We talk about going to the mall today and what we want for breakfast, and I go into the kitchen to get it ready. On my way in, I unplug my phone and turn it on.
…and the *first* damn thing that pops up is an alert that I have *six* text messages from my mother. They were sent at 8am. On a Saturday.
Instead of texting “hey, what’s up” or “hello” like a normal human being texting another adult on their day off, her messages are each novel in length and laying the guilt on thick.
I’ll spare you the details, but the general gist was “you said you’re coming over today. You’re a bad daughter for not wanting to come see me. I’m pissed. You PROMISED you’d call me.”
There are a couple of issues here:
1. I never said I was going to her house this weekend. In fact, I nicely made it very clear this week that it wasn’t happening….the *5 times* we spoke on the phone.
2. I’m a being a bad daughter…….says the now-drinking-again bored, voluntarily unemployed alcoholic who has alienated EVERYONE, leaving me to be her one sounding board (thanks, family!)
3. …”promised” I’d call? I talked to her *Thursday night*!!
Now, before you say “Shame on you! She’s your mother!” or “put her on her place”, hear me out: we are dealing with a volatile, spiteful, foul-mouthed individual. She is incredibly bitter as it is but is in an especially nasty state of mind, as her *5th* husband has just divorced her. In her not-so-humble opinion, I should “WANT to be there for” her. Why? So I can listen to you piss and moan about problems you have *created yourself* over the last 60 years? Yes, absolutely: let me leave my family (my REAL one) here at home and use my very limited time with them to hop in the car, drive thirty minutes, run you on your errands and listen to you rant and cry after you’ve CLEARLY been hitting the pain pills and boxed wine.
So, bees. Here I am. She texted me hours ago and I’m still sitting here fuming. Do I say anything? Ignore her?
I know some of you have problematic “parents”, too, so I felt like someone might get it. Thanks for your time.