(Closed) My Mother/Guest List Rant…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it breaks down to 1. Who’s paying and 2. can they afford to pay for these extra people.

If you’re paying, start cutting it down. It’s your wedding, only invite the people you want to share this day with.

Post # 4
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I think the question you’ll get most is:

Is your mother hosting/paying for the wedding?

Post # 5
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Keep crossing those people off that list you really don’t see needing to be there!! Is your mom paying for your wedding?? Maybe if she is I could see about keeping some of those people on the list but not all of them. Doesn’t matter because in the end its your (you and future hubbys) wedding!!!

 

Post # 6
Member
46664 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Time to sit down with mom and have a heart to heart about the kind of wedding you want to have.

It’s hard not to get emotional but try to empathize with what your Mom has dreamed of for your wedding. Ask her if there is room to compromise.

Post # 8
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

One way we’re luckying out with not inviting too many people is capacity…. Does the church have a capacity limit? I also think you need to discuss  your budget and if she can make up the difference; if she can and theres room then just invite them. If you haven’t seen them in a while, there might be a good chance they won’t come anyway, and MAYBE they’ll send a gift Wink

Post # 9
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Hmm that’s a difficult situation.

I think you should talk with your Fiance and make a written description of the five most important elements of your wedding (five for you, five for him).  Then share those elements with your parents and let them know that because they are most important to you, YOU will be coordinating/taking care of those elements.  The rest your parents can help with.  So if the size of your wedding is #1, the dress #2, etc. then you can tell your mom that she has to plan within that contraint.  It also gives you (and your FI) some backup, since you can both lean on each other for support (these are the most important elements to US).

As a compromise, you can tell your mom you’re willing to give her (X) number of guests, and she can invite whomever she likes.

Post # 11
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Maybe you can try with…we talked and went over the guest list together and we just decided we wanted to have a smaller guest list.

Mom-zilla is right! if she is going to be like that with a list I’d be fearing how she acts with the rest of planning. I hope she just lets this list thing go..and is supporitve and fun for the rest of planning!

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