(Closed) My Mum broke up with bf but still wants to bring him to my wedding.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I was in a similar situation, not with my mom but with my now-SIL. She wanted to bring some random guy rather than come alone. Like you, my wedding was small, 32 guests. I insisted that she would be fine with her family with no date.

In my case I couldn’t make the final call because my husband said we should include him. I was polite, but unhappy that he was there.

This is a really tough decision. You seem to understand that your mom wants a partner, and if they truly will stay friends (you may know how likely this is, or isn’t) then chances are you may see him in the future. I don’t have a good answer because I can really see your point, but it may not be worth the fight and potentially making your mom feel worthless and alone.

For what it’s worth, one bit of advice if he does come and you’re having a photographer: make sure to get plenty of pics of your mom with you & other guests without her date. I’m not including any pics of my SIL’s date in my album, and that’s kind of limiting the amount of photos of her I’m including. I’d be brokenhearted if I felt like I couldn’t include pics of my mom because of who she was standing next to.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

its a big family function and she doesnt want to seem like the dateless one…. do people ever grow out of highschool i wonder???

anyways – i would let him come but i would tell your mum that he isnt to be in any of the family pics

 

Post # 5
Member
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Doesn’t she have family there she can hang out with?! If she’s that worried about being alone at her own daughter’s wedding, let her bring him, but DO NOT let him be in any pictures. WHo knows, maybe they are offically broken up but still cordial and may get back together. My aunt just “had” to bring her flavor of the month but it was ok because it meant she had someone to hang out with besides my parents.

Post # 6
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

How irritating!

I know how it feels to be forced to invite someone to your wedding who you do not want there. It just feels incredible selfish and imposing, how childish to NEED a date to your own daughter’s wedding. However, if she is contributing money, or the type of person who can’t just suck things up, you might have to allow it.  Be comforted knowing that even in a tiny wedding you are barely going to notice him, you will be entirely too caught up in your husband and the people you love.

As for the pictures, I would be honest with your mother. Say this makes you uncomfortable having him included in pictures and you expect her to be responsible for tactfully explaining that to him. She should be able to, after a long term relationship. He will either understand, and cooperate or be offended.. in which case who cares, he won’t be in your life anyway. 

Post # 7
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d let her bring him but make sure the photographer is in the know about this and that he does not include the xbf in any pics.

My mom is also acting wierd with a bf right now (post midlife crisis imho) and I know how utterly confusing it can be at times.  Hugs to you big time!

 

Post # 8
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I agree with Bellenga, let him come, but nooo pics. They might get back together soon anyway. 

Post # 9
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yea, my mom and her bf (can we have a roll eyes face please so I can insert my sarcasm?) are breaking up every so often and I can’t keep up with it.

More drama than the bachelorette goin’ on with her!

Post # 11
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Or you could have the photog take that “memory” shot of them (give it to them) and not put it in the album!

Post # 12
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

So funny everybody is in agreement with the pics — wish someone had told me that before my wedding! I knew I didn’t want him in photos, but I didn’t realize that I would only have 2 of SIL without him.

Good luck MrsBradtobe!

The topic ‘My Mum broke up with bf but still wants to bring him to my wedding.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors