Post # 1
Has anyone ever used a cohabitation agreement when you moved in with your SO?
(If you haven’t heard of this, it’s a legal agreement between non-married couples who live together. Usually protecting each person financially)
I’m thinking of creating one for my BF and I, but taking a more lighthearted look at it. For example: him promising to close the shower curtain and me promising to put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
Have you signed one? Do you feel like it made a difference?
Post # 3
I haven’t heard of this…but it could be cute! could also help out in future arguments, hah =)
Post # 4
Um, no I have never heard of this ….. it is different. I don’t believe in living together before marriage so I guess thats why I am out of the loop on this…. I learned something new today though.
Post # 5
No one with a cohabitation agreement? (serious or lighthearted?)
Post # 6
I think it’s super smart! We had a verbal one when we first moved in together, and when we moved in with roommates and they wouldn’t do one…oh man, that should have been a sign.
I think keeping it lighthearted is important, but get the stuff on there that matters! We went with a separate credit card to put shared costs on, so of course we both needed to know the other person was going to pay their half. Yes, we were (and are) in love, but we weren’t (and, hopefully, aren’t) stupid!
Post # 7
I have never used one, and sadly don’t have a lighthearted story about one. But I can tell you that they might be a good idea if you are seriously invovled with someone financially. If its just rent/bills and you can split them relatively evenly I would just have a conversation about expectations around cleaning/chores/money.
One of my friends started building a house with her boyfriend on his parent’s land. She had invested nearly 10 grand when they broke up, and he will not give her any of it back. She could probably hire a lawyer, but the guy was abusive and she is scared of what he would do.
(I’m totally making the Debbie-Downer noise in my head over here. What a bummer I am! 🙂 )
Post # 8
This isn’t exactly what you’re asking about, but I have some friends who incorporated some things they promise to do (like take coffee cups into the kitchen) in their wedding vows, and it was definitely adorable and lighthearted.
Post # 9
We haven’t signed any paperwork, but we definitely have an agreement about stuff like this! Little, silly stuff, like, if I cook, he’s responsible for the dishes. He will wash his feet when he comes home from work (stinky!) and I will avoid piling worn-once clothes on top of the dresser, etc.
Post # 10
I haven’t quite decided yet if I will go for it. But elivt makes a good point about not necessarily knowing what will happen. While I have absolutely no doubts that we will be together forever, it will still be good to include some of the financial responsibilities in the agreement.
I was totally thinking of using these again in our vows! I think it’s very cute when couples incorporate personal things into their ceremony.
Post # 11
We had to make those in college, and they just didn’t work in that particular setting. Hopefully you and your SO have better luck, lol!
It’s definitely good to talk about finances and cleaning expectations, so I’d say try it. Fiance and I will likely do a more informal version and just talk about it.
Post # 12
We have already talked somewhat about who would be responsible for paying/cleaning particular things. But I’m SURE there are areas we haven’t covered.
Post # 13
We didn’t even think of agreements when we bought our house – serious or lighthearted. I think a lighthearted one would be fun though! Like the Roommate Agreement from Big Bang Theory – you can outline who has control over the thermostat! Lol – I’m totally going to draft one up now!
Post # 14
Interesting. Would you be willing to share some of teh stuff you come up with? It would be fun to read.
Post # 15
I would say if you are really trying to do an agreement to protect yourself finacially then keep the light hearted stuff out of it. An agreement like that is going to be hard enough to stick to if things go poorly but if there is lighthearted jokey stuff in there it won’t help you at all. to @elivt story if you ran into something like her friends situation but had some funny jokey stuff mixed in with serious finacial stuff it won’t be helpful. Decide what your main purpose is and go from there
I think if you more concerned about sharing household duties then have fun and go lighthearted.
Keep serious stuff serious and light stuff fun
Post # 16
I will definitely share!
I’m mostly thinking of doing it for fun with chores and things, so I’ll probably go more of the lighthearted route.