- 6 years ago
Okay – so it has come to my attention that I absolutely can NOT stand waiting on other people for things to happen in MY life. I’m not a control freak about everything, I can relinquish control for things that don’t directly affect me, but if it somehow changes my life or emotional state, then, by golly, I got batshit crazy. (This is precisely reason number 1 why waiting for a proposal most days feels like agony. But that’s for the waiting boards, and not here.)
What I would like from the Lounge is support and words of wisdom to help me get through the waiting on this:
On 8/8/12, after nearly 18 months of correspondence with my paternal Aunt, I sent my real father a letter in the mail. Long story short, he and my mother got pregnant with me when they were 18. I was not planned, and what could’ve turned into the bringing together of two people, turned into the tearing apart of them, as unfortunately most unplanned teenage pregnancies do. Both parties felt extremely hurt by the other for reasons not completely known by me, and as a result I haven’t seen or spoken to him or any of his family in 21 years. Until of course I started talking to his sister 18 months ago.
Anyways, now here I am, waiting, very impatiently, to see if he’ll respond to my letter. His sister did talk to him in April about my want to speak with him (though I’m not entirely sure what was said or exchanged) and she told me that he said he would need to “think about it”. I haven’t pressed her for a lot of information because I don’t want her to feel used, so I took matters into my own hands, white paged his address, and asked her if what I found was current. (Before this point I had never asked her for ANY of his contact information). While she didn’t exactly confirm that it was his address, there was a long pause before she said, “you’re not just planning on showing up, are you?”, which was all the confirmation I needed. I told her I wanted to send a letter, and she agreed that would be okay.
So now here I sit… waiting.
I hate waiting. Any conforting words to keep me sane?
Did I mention Monday is my birthday?