(Closed) My neighbor tried to kill himself today..

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsCoachBtoBee:

 

🙁 thats so sad.. I hope he gets better and gets the help he needs.. and Im sure it wasnt easy for you to witness such a thing. I think it would be a good idea to reach out to him, but not being to friendly and close but being a good neighbor. You can visit him at the hospital with some flowers or just check up on him from time to time. Im sure he will appreciate it very much….

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh that is so awful for you!  And very sad for him.  Hopefully that was just a cry for help and he will get some therapy and monitoring from mental health professionals.  I’m not sure what I would do in this situation.  One one hand, he might be really embarrassed and humiliated and not want any extra attention.  On the other, maybe the gesture would help him feel that someone cares.  It’s really a tough call.

At any rate, I’m sorry you had to see that and I hope he gets better.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

thats so sad – i cant imagine being in such a dark place that taking your life seems the best option and my best thoughts to your neighbour

for you, it is a troubling thing to witness and be sure to talk about it if you find it continues to affect you – such a sad situation for all involved, wishing you the best, you are a good person to care

Post # 6
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry to hear that, what a tough thing to deal with. I agree with @al1988 maybe a card or a short visit would be appropreate. Sometimes all that people want is to know that someone cares enough to notice them. It might be akward at first but sometimes you just have to leave your comfort zone a bit.

Post # 7
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Does he have a family that live with him? If so, maybe just drop off a casserole to eat for dinner tomorrow.  It will show you care, without being overly involved.

I have had some family attempt it and the last thing they wanted was for strangers to be talking to them or giving them sympathy. They were still sad, depressed and to top it off embarassed. I wouldnt try to visit with him as only a neighbor since you dont know him well, but everyone is different.

Post # 8
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MrsCoachBtoBee: I’d wait a few days, then send a short note saying that you appreciate what a good neighbor he’s been and that your door is always open. If you feel it’s appropriate, then you might include a gift card for takeout dinner. I’d be on the fence about the gift card unless I knew the neighbor well, or I knew that he had family come to stay with him after. Not cooking during stressful times is always a godsend.

Post # 9
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m really sorry this happened near you. I know it hurts. Somebody I knew only slightly but was involved in a community that I was in killed themselves by hanging… and it cut me so deep. I still have nightmares about it. It has been four and a half years, and I still can remember almost word for word the last conversation I had with her, which was just about training our horses and the new horse her and her fiance were working on. When I think of her or see the horses she trained, I try to give her a kind thought and then just move on.

I tried to kill myself three years ago. I was on medication for it for several years. I would -not- have wanted anyone mentioning it to me if they knew. Some of my FI’s friends know about my struggles and make jokes about some scars I have. Some of them have asked quite honestly and kindly about how I’m doing. I do not want to talk about it with them either way. It tends to be a very personal struggle. If he’s in the hospital now, they will hook him up with therapists and everything, so I am positively certain he is getting the help he needs. He is probably extremely horrified that his problems were out there in the open and will appriciate you just smiling and acting completely like normal more than anything else, I promise. In fact, you will make him feel better by doing just that.

I hope you’re going to be okay, too. Don’t let this drag you down. Go do something nice for yourself. Sending my best sympathies and well wishes. <3

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@sunny1: thank you for sharing this – wishing you the best

Post # 11
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@MrsCoachBtoBee:  So sorry to hear about this.  I can empathize with your situation because my neighbor committed suicide the same way about a year and a half ago.  I was living in a townhome at the time and the fumes travelled through the building.  Thankfully, another neighbor had a detector and was alerted of the poisonous fumes.  She could’ve been killed since she lived above him and my cats were also in danger.  Thankfully, I made it home in time to ventilate my unit, but the man did not survive.  It gave me an eery feeling each time I drove past his garage knowing that he took his life there.  Please give yourself some time to decide what you feel comfortable doing.  When someone attempts or is successful at committing suicide, it’s so very difficult to understand.  I hope he gets the help he needs.  HUGS!! 

Post # 12
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@sunny1:  Thanks for sharing… It’s so hard to go through something like that. I’ve been there as well.

 

@MrsCoachBtoBee:  I’m sorry to hear that you had to witness that 🙁  Whether you knew your neighbor well or not, you’re human so that would definitely affect anyone watching the outcome. 

 

It also is good reminder to many of us that we don’t always know how someone’s life is going, around us.  It’s a good reminder to not judge others so harshly…

Post # 13
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I am so sorry. Praying for happier days for you both. Hugs

Post # 15
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve been in that dark of a place, and coming from personal experience (although everyone is different), I think reaching out in a small way would be really nice. As PPs mentioned, a card would be a good idea. I was in the ER for it once and I would not have wanted anyone seeing me like that… but a gesture such as a card, that shows that someone really does care about them and wants them around, would be really sweet.

As @sunny1: said, don’t mention it or treat him any differently than before, just be nice and maybe write in the card that you’re open to talking (if you are).

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