(Closed) My New Groom’s Mother Forgot Us On Christmas

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think it’s a communication issue, I think it’s a passive-aggressive issue. I agree that it MAY have just been a slip-up, but really, who forgets to send a card to their own son and DIL on Christmas? To me it’s pretty underhanded and she did it on purpose, to make him possibly regret not spending Christmas with them.

I imagine splitting the holidays is really difficult, but it really isn’t her place to make it MORE difficult for her son and DIL to enjoy a holiday. I would let it go this time and just see how it all plays out. Just support your husband and continue living your life together. That’s really all you can actively do. Now, when it’s time to spend Christmas with your family again I guess you will see how she chooses to react that time.

Good luck! And don’t let this come between you two! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

did you send a card to your inlaws?  just asking because if shes anything like my italian mum she was waiting for you guys to make the first move as proof that you care about her – but my mum is a bit crazy, hopefully your Mother-In-Law isnt

Post # 6
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly Christmas is, and always will be, a nightmare when you have to split it between families. You did your part, the fact that she didnt keep her end shouldnt make you feel so bad.

My FFIL/FMIL don’t even celebrate christmas but they still get angry/upset when we dont visit them on Christmas (because is is a sign we are choosing my family over his) WTF! we really can’t win. But I decided this year, as long as I make a effort to make people happy! that’s good enough. They don’t get to dictate how I spend my holiday.

The only thing I think you should do is to learn italian! Its a lovely language and will only help in this situation.

Post # 7
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Starfish27: you know what i think about it!!!!!!! so funny that you’re on here ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It could be passive aggressive on her part, but I wouldn’t read too much in to it, to be honest.

Christmas is a busy time and if she was busy with the remodeling, a card may have slipt her mind. Did she at least call or make an effort to communicate with you guys outside of the card? I know you said that she had gifts for you at home, so that’s a pretty good indicator that she may just be adjusting.

Post # 9
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Starfish27:  His mom was probably just really sad he wasn’t home. Since you guys mentioned it to her, she probably won’t do it again. I think the gifts and letter was really sweet of you. Honestly, I would try to learn some Italian and surprise her when you next see her with your new language skills ๐Ÿ™‚ Sometimes a little goes a long way, and if you try to reach out to her and make an effort to learn some of the language it’ll go a long way with the family. Plus Italian is such a beautiful language, I wish I had used mine more often, it’s all dried up and left my head now!

Italian guys and their moms have a really different bond than anything else I’ve experienced, and honestly, even if you were Italian, you guys lived in Italy and hadn’t come to see her for Christmas she still wouldn’t have sent you a card ๐Ÿ˜‰

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