Post # 1
Ok you guys, so I got married about a year ago. Dec. 26th exactly. I have issues with that date, just as I thought I would. You all can decide for yourselfs why!!! HAHA!!! Besides the obvious, I love him and it was sooo nice to see family considering! Ok and I guess the court house was a really dumd idea.
Part of the reason I was wanting to do the courthouse was how I was raised! A single mother and grew up with not many friends so I figured why not???? I had never been to a wedding nor cared about one. Never dreamed of “MY DRESS” or any of the other WEDDING JUNK.
Well my Husband loves his MOM and Aunts and all of his family in general. I actually love that about him! He actually envisioned me in my dress and I feel that I have disappointed him.
With all my hangups or lack there of, I knew his friends hated me because I had 6 yr old twins and they wanted something different for him that I let everyone control our day and us for a day. Its so hard right now. Hes so lonely because no one wants to hang out with him. I encourage him and plead him to go and do things but he wont. I’m worried that one day he will resent me for his friends abandoning him. I have only been nice to them and feel as though I have gone out of my way … and will continue! But it is just not received
Post # 3
>>>HUGS<<<< its not your fault they wont hang out with him, if they were true friends they would stand by him no matter what. Just keep your head up and support him as much as you can. Hopefully he will make some real friends soon.
Post # 4
I’m sorry to hear that. Keep encouraging him and if it’s important to you, keep being pleasant and maybe they’ll come around. Or why don’t you try to do some new things together and make some new mutual friends?
Post # 5
FIND NEW FRIENDS TOGETHER- is he involved with the twins- sports, pta, church?
Post # 6
yeah sounds like he just has some shitty friends who haven’t quite grown up yet. I agree with previous poster, find some new friends together. Good luck 🙂
Post # 7
I might suggest you and he invite all these friends over to watch some sporting event or something like that. I think they just haven’t gotten to know you, and if you are very nice to them, and feed them well while they are there maybe they will warm up to you. If these guys are single, maybe invite some of your own single girlfriends over too to even things up.
Post # 8
i have a friend in a very similar situation (down to the twins! but she has twins plus one older one). it’s sad that other people can’t see that you didn’t force this on him, he chose to be a part of your family! so obviously it’s what he wants and they SHOULD be happy for him. do his friends have children? i think it makes it harder for single or childless guys to understand why a man would ‘give up his freedom’ to take on the responsibilities of entering not just a marriage, but a ready made family.
i agree with the make new friends thing, family friendly kind of friends=) places like the YMCA, school events, playgrounds, libraries, sports teams are all good places to meet people in similar stages of life. if he still wants to stay friends with the guys that aren’t so happy for the two of you, then i would suggest making an effort to continue to invite them to things, eventually they will see that you didn’t take over his whole life and change who he is! he is still the same guy, he still wants to hang out sometimes. maybe inviting them over for things like cookouts where everyone just chills and the kids are there and they can get used to you guys as a family in a laid back setting. hopefully they will see how happy he is and become more supportive. good luck!
Post # 9
My fiance lost 90% of his friends when we started dating and I lost some too. They were very disrespectful to me and I eventually, pretty much, told them all where they can put it. I fell in love with him the second I met him and still feel the same way 15 years later. I doubt they would have still been at his side today had I not been around.
Friends come and go and we’ll always be with eachother. True friends (like the few we have kept) will be there no matter what your choices are.
Post # 10
I’m not sure that J’s friends really care for me. I think it’s because we were in a LDR relationship and weekends were ours. His buddies used to text him all of the time to come out and he’d say no. He also never brings me around them. I have no idea why.
I was told the other day that his one “best” friend thought I was a controlling bitch because J never went out with him. J stuck up for me naturally by saying “you don’t even know her that well.” But his friend also pointed out that he never brings me around. J says it’s because his friendship with his friends is weird. The one friend who said this only enjoys J around when he wants to play video games. J said he doesn’t want me to sit around bored while they bullshit because even he hates it sometimes.
His other best friend disrespected me back in August (but I found out in December) and I was completely disgusted. J texted him one day telling him that an old “fling” was texting him again (which I knew about and J agreed not to talk to her because she was in the past), but his buddy tells him to at least get pictures from the girl. J laughed about it, but also said that he was really happy and he wasn’t going to screw this up. His buddy said something more and they joked around, but I found it be extremely disrespectful. Just because his friend is unhappy in his marriage – doesn’t mean everyone has to be unhappy and be a disgusting pig.
Other than that, his other friends come and go. I’ve only met one that I really cared for, but J hates hanging around him because he can be somewhat depressing at times.
I find it hard that J and I don’t share friends in common.
Post # 11
So, wait, your post kind of confused me. Do his friends dislike you for picking the date Dec. 26th or because you went along with a big wedding? Or because of the kids?
Why is Dec 26th so bad?