(Closed) My newborn fell off a bed. PISSED!

posted 4 years ago in Parenting
Post # 76
367 posts
Helper bee

Did your Mother-In-Law find out about the co-sleeping at the same time she found out LO fell out of the bed?  If so, I’d cut her some slack.  Where did she think he was sleeping?

Post # 77
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I find this apalling on so many levels that I am not even sure where to start! And, while I feel very badly for your child and you, I also feel quite badly for your niece- to be told not to tell and to be in that position- plus, I’m guessing she heard your child or found him on the floor. She probably feels a lot of guilt and anxiety right now, especially after her mother swore her to secrecy.

Chldren are resilient and I’m glad your child seems fine now- you were all quite lucky. She would NEVER babysit my child again, though, and I don’t think that is unreasonable.

And, since your husband thinks this is not a big deal, have him roll himself out of the bed and onto the floor without breaking his fall at all with his hands. Infants don’t have the motor control or strength to break their fall at all- to me, (not trying to be harsh), he is being totally ridiculous and should have called his sister immediately. Accidents happen- both while our kids are with us and with others- but, you need to be able to trust the people who care for them. Hiding this from you both? Totally unacceptable!

Post # 78
34 posts

Oh WOW. I’m so upset for you, how terrible. I couldn’t ever trust them again. 

Post # 79
2108 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would be pissed too. To make an error in judgement is one thing, but to not even tell you until a week later makes it 10 times worse…

Post # 80
5894 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

anon1234bee:  HOLY CRAP.  That’s insane.  I cannot believe that they 1) did that and 2) didn’t tell you.

I’m so sorry this happened to you, but thank God your LO is ok!  Hugs!

Honestly though, I would probably drive over there and punch her god damn lights out.  I can’t believe that your Darling Husband isn’t in a rage….what the hell is wrong with him?

Post # 81
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You are a far better person than me because I would’ve whooped her sorry  ass. Seriously. I am so frustrated for you and I’m sorry this happened! To me it MAYBE would have been forgiveable had she took my baby straight to the ER and called me right away. But to cover that shit up for a week and still not tell me to my face like a woman? Oh hell no!!

Post # 82
3905 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

anon1234bee:  Holly crap! I would tear her a new one. Accidrnt happen, yes… but that while thing was totally preventable like dont pit a 6wo with a 10yo to sleep. That is the stupidest shit i her in a while. They are morons.

Post # 83
1308 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I am not even a mother and this is upsetting.  I came in here expecting an innocent mistake, but this is just awful.  I am so glad your baby is OK.  If anything, this is a warning to not let them take care of your child! Ugh.

Your Darling Husband is wrong on telling you to calm down to an extent.  I think you are allowed to feel all the anger you want right now, especially with your baby being so small still!  This isn’t just a toddler taking a spill.  

For your own health, I hope you don’t hold onto the resentment.  But seriously, eff that.  They neglected your baby.  

I’m not even sure I could find it in me to speak to Mother-In-Law again.  I’d likely tell her exactly how I felt.  

Agree with PP’s giving you props for not being in a jail cell.

Post # 84
1265 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

WOW. Most importantly, I’m so glad to hear your baby is okay. I also feel terrible for your poor niece who is feeling so guilty over her mother’s terrible decisions and bad position she put her in that she spent a week stirring over it before doing the right thing. And what if your baby wasn’t okay??  The poor girl would live with that guilt forever. Also glad to hear your Mother-In-Law didnt know and did the right thing when she found out. 

If it were me, SIL would very rarely see the baby ever again (family get togethers only) and never hold him, let alone watch him, again. Making a really really bad call of allowing the co-sleeping is one thing that, with time and an apology, could possibly be forgiven. But the poor handling of it afterward (from not even calling the doctor to not telling you and making her daughter lie) would be unforgivable. I could never trust her with my child again. 

Post # 85
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

weddingmaven:  Completely agree. I just can’t imagine how anyone can even think that’s close to acceptable to do. I understand that it’s an awful situation, but SIL knowingly made several terrible choices and then to tell your child to keep it a “secret”. This does nothing but show completely terrible judgement, and sends her daughter the message that lying and covering up someone being (in this case not, thank goodness) hurt is acceptable because you can’t take responsibility. Awful parenting. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  KatiePi.
Post # 86
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

weddingmaven:  except could the Mother-In-Law have really given her/them any answers? She knew about it secondhand, from her granddaughter, and told them ASAP.

Post # 87
575 posts
Busy bee

Holy cow! Your little boy falling off the bed is bad enough, but it could have been so much worse. I can’t even bring myself to type out those what-ifs. I’m so glad to hear that your little boy is ok though. As PP mentioned they are incredibly resilient considering how small and fragile they seem. 

You’ve already handled this better than I would have. I would have flown off the handle and gone absolutely crazy. My trust in your SIL would now be nonexistent, she broke a pretty basic but important safety rule. And she would never babysit again…forget overnights, I wouldn’t even feel comfortable leaving him with her for a quick run to the grocery store. And your poor niece, being put in that position is awful.

At least you found out about it at all. Imagine if you never knew and continued to let them babysit like that? Definitely time for a frank conversation with your in-laws. 

Post # 88
376 posts
Helper bee

anon1234bee:  Oh wow! How scary. I would have been so upset. I don’t have a LO yet but hopefully within the next couple of years and this sort of story is what makes me worry about my Mother-In-Law watching my future babies as well. Every time I am over her house she completely forgets she has things on the oven until they burn and smell or boil over pretty badly. She’s coming up on 72 but seems for the most part totally fine mentally, she’s just a bit goofy/flighty in general. She’s actually gone to nap (or fallen asleep) forgetting things are in the oven and cooks them for faaaar too long (she managed to make corned beef more like jerky once, I swear). Her cooking isn’t my issue, but I fear letting her watch my future munchkins alone since she’s this flighty about leaving things and forgetting them. I guess it’ll be a path to cross when the time comes especially since SO is a huge mama’s boy and thinks she does next to nothing wrong… I’m so glad your baby is okay though! Thank goodness. I wouldn’t let them watch my baby for a while again either, not until he’s old enough to sleep on his own in a bed safely at least. 

Post # 89
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Letting your baby sleep ALL ALONE with a 10 year old was big mistake number one. But I feel like big mistake number two was the worst….not only did that happen….but they didn’t tell you about it right away? What if your baby was NOT okay??? What would have happened??? Wow. 

Post # 90
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

This is what nightmares are made of. Your SIL sounds like a grade-A idiot. Worse. Did all reasonable sense just fly out the window that night? Even the 10 year old was haunted by it and fessed up eventually after being told not to. Sounds like your Mother-In-Law was horrified too. No more alone baby time for SIL.

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