(Closed) My noNengaged bridezilla bm

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow, that stinks that she is not being very helpful. Sorry to hear that.

But as to advice, I would definitely refrain from talking to her about anything wedding-related. I know you said you try not to over-do it, but if she just broke up with her boyfriend, then it probably really still hurts to be reminded that she’s *not* getting married and you are. So don’t bring up *anything*

Do you have other friends that you can talk to about wedding related stuff?

Post # 5
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sounds to me like she’s not too interested in being a bridesmaid… who’s job is to be SUPPORT for the bride. If she can’t look past herself and be there for you, she has no business being in your wedding. Just sayin.

Post # 7
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It sounds like she is very jealous of you and your wedding (which is understandable since hers didn’t work out) and is grasping at straws to make herself feel better. I’d just not really talk about the wedding at all with her. Make sure she has her dress, shoes and whatever else she needs to wear and be done with it.

Post # 8
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

So rude!!  I don’t know how I would handle comments like that.  Maybe she’s just jealous you’re getting married and she hasn’t.  What she’s doing definitely isn’t right.

If you have others to talk to about wedding stuff, then I’d avoid talking to her about it as much as possible.  I know that’s probably not what you want to do, but it may help prevent her from saying too much more.

I’ve been dealing with a little different situation.  My Future Mother-In-Law has appeared to be very disinterested in all wedding stuff.  I’d send her pictures of flowers or the photographer that I booked, and she wouldn’t respond at all.  Nothing.  It kept happening, so I just decided that I wasn’t going to send her anything else because I kept getting my feelings hurt.  And while it stinks not to feel like I can show her things, it has definitely made me not get my feelings hurt as much. 

So maybe if you just don’t say as much to her about wedding things, then maybe it’ll all stop and she won’t be making all these snide remarks.

I hope things get better!!

Post # 10
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsNeutrino:  I think she is probably just jealous that she is no longer getting married and you are.  I can sort of feel for her.  I know when my first love and I broke up he was all I could think about and talk about and I was so hurt when all my friends were getting married.  I was happy for them but all my friends thought he and I would get married immediately.

Not sorry for how things turned out with him because I did eventually move on but it took a long time.  Like I said first love and we were together from high school through college.

I would just not talk to her about these things.  I hope you can find someone else who can be more help with your decision making and planning but I’m afraid it probably isn’t going to be her.

Post # 11
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@MrsNeutrino:Yeah, sounds like she’s a little bitter for right now and doesn’t need to hear a lot of planning stuff right now– MAJOR BUMMER. But it sounds like she;ll still be a good friend to you in the future and she’s just going through a rough patch,

Can you lean on your other bridesmaids and the bee for a little while?

And don’t worry about her “no kids at my future-eventual wedding” thing until the time comes. She may change her mind a thousand times.

Post # 12
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor was funny about my wedding at first, except becuase she just got married and was feeling a bit down about her wedding (which I loved anyhow) it was a bit like she felt I was competeing with her, even though I had not even started the planning process yet. I gave it a couple of months and she came good 🙂

Give her sometime and I am sure things will get better, if she is usually a good friend it will be ok.

Post # 14
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MrsNeutrino: Is she seriously your friend? She sounds like a very spiteful person… I don’t think a friendship where the person is constantly putting you down is healthy… if it were me, I wouldn’t hesitate to exclude her from being in the bridal party. It’s sad, but if she wants to make an ass of herself, just let her. It’s her loss.

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