- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Yep another not so newbie posting as an alias, forgive me if just feels more free.
So during my time here I’ve come across many posts about relationships maybe in question or at least with some issues. The responses to these posts really make me wonder about my relationship at times. Everyone seems so perfect!
The skinny; I’m middle aged, been around many blocks and have always thought of myself as one with a good head on her shoulders, which of course came from a lot of life learning experiences. I’ve been in my relationship for almost 5yrs and we have a beautiful child together. We have a home which I can proudly say I bought before a man 🙂 This man loves me for me, flaws and all. I had never been with someone who was so sincere, caring and thoughtful among many other things. He’s an amazing father and a damn hard worker. He cares about family, our home and has his priorities in place.
Now the issues; the big issues; alcohol, stupid white lies to avoid conflict, lack of intimacy and communication (not always getting each other). If all these continued it would be a deal breaker for me BUT we work through our stuff. When I look back at the beginning of our relationship it amazes me at how far we’ve come! We’re a different couple and that’s a great thing. Do we still deal wtih the issues, yes but on a tiny scale and they are things we can continually talk about without defensiveness, etc.. and work on. We’re committed and that’s what you do. His issues are not the only ones, I sure have my share. I can be controlling, selfish, and as he sometimes feels..never satisfied
When we’re annoyed with each other, upset or just having one of those days do I doubt this? Yes I do sometimes but then I realize it’s normal.(not to say everyone does) I’ve realized that in past relationships and maybe sometimes in this one that I’ve had unrealistic expectations. People are not perfect. We will argue, we will do things that drive each other mad and some will do things that just aren’t right but I’d like to believe that most things can be worked through.
Does the grass look greener on the other side at times? Sure! I can meet a hilarious man and think oh I wish mine cracked me up like that but ya know what? That hilarious man just might be a real a** to live with! I can see couples that seem perfect only to find out what really goes on behind their closed doors. I’m lucky to have a wonderful man for me. He doesn’t hang out in bars, he respects me 100%, I trust his fidelity like no other and he makes me smile!! Yes he’s not perfect just like me but that is why I firmly believe in watering our side of the grass to make it greener.
Am I crazy? It just seems that there are so many perfect bees out there. Ones that have never doubted, never told a lie, never fought, and ones that think every relationship should be sunshine and roses or you better not marry him.