(Closed) My overseas wedding and SIL's pregnancy/baby conflict! HELP BEES!

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Should I get married in January 2014 or Aug 2014?
    January 2014 - their concerns are normal but not so big/reasonable that you should change the date : (70 votes)
    96 %
    August 2014 - babies are more important! : (3 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Just go with your original plan.  It sounds like there is a chance that your brother will not go no matter what. It’s not like you’re talking about the month right before or after the baby.

    Disclaimer: I am not a mom, and I don’t know about traveling health precautions. However, I do know from being an aunt that traveling with a less than one year older is much easier than an older toddler that can walk and wants to explore. 



    Post # 4
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’d say go with your original plan. Even if your wedding is in August, your brother and sister in law may still not travel because of baby. It’s not like your wedding is right around her due date.

    Post # 5
    7276 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Firework:  First, I don’t think you’re being ignorant or callous. I think all of your reasons for wanting to have it in January are very good reasons! Planning a wedding is stressful enough. Add in that you’re planning it from a distance and you have the bar exam to worry about and that just seems kind of insane.

    I don’t have kids so maybe mothers out there can correct me but I don’t think it’s a big deal to travel with a four month old to India. I did a quick search and found this website (http://www.path2usa.com/tips-for-traveling-to-india-with-infants) along with tons of blogs about traveling with children under one year of age to India. Most of the things I found were common sense: make sure you buy food from markets as opposed to street vendors, plenty of sunscreen, mosquito protection (sounds like there are probably more mosquitos in August when your brother wants to go since it’s more muggy), and making sure to give them clean water. I really think their baby would be okay to go. Again, I’m not a mother- I’m just basing this off of my quick search for information online. Maybe you can show him some sites that give good traveling information for babies?

    You also said your brother wants to wait until the baby is at least six months old. I don’t really see why two months would make a difference? Why six months old and not four months old?

    However, if you do decide to move forward with it in January (which I don’t think is selfish or ignorant) are you prepared for you brother to not come? Would he decide to just not go at all if you don’t follow his wishes? 

    Best of luck deciding this! 

    Post # 6
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I’m of the opinion that it would be easier and relatively safer for them to travel with a four month old – the trip will be easier for a littler baby who will be sleeping for longer periods, may still be nursing, etc and the risk of things like malaria and dengue are higher during monsoon season (if you’re travelling to an area where malaria is endemic).

    I also think your personal reasons for choosing January make more sense. I would go ahead with the January plan. I was expecting you to say your wedding was planned for the time your sister-in-law was due, but four months after? No big deal.

    Post # 7
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I also think you should just go with your original plan. I have a lot of friends that are attorneys and honestly, the last thing you want to be worrying about during bar prep would be wedding details. Do you really want to track down RSVPs, confirm last minute details with vendors and make sure your bags are packed while you’re studying for this very expensive, very important test?

    No one expected your SIL to get pregnant and these things happen. Plus, who is to say she won’t get pregnant immediately after that (a la Jessica Simpson) and be pregnant (thus unlikely to travel)? If I was in the this situation, I would be fine sending Darling Husband to go to your wedding solo while I stayed home with the baby.

    Post # 9
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I would go ahead with January. Personally, I have a 3 month old and I would not travel that far with her. I would not go when she is 1 years old either. I really would not mind staying home with the baby so my husband can go to his sister’s wedding. Try not to stress. If your SIL is reasonable, she will understand.

    Post # 10
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would not want to travel with my LO that far at that age.  They aren’t realy supposed to be so exposed (esp. in enclosed spaces) until they are 6mth- 1 year because they don’t even get lots of their shots until 6 months.  I would change the date, but that is ME.  I think it depends how important it is that they have the chance to be there.

    Especially considering that they thought of you with their date- I am a very loyal person and family matters to me, so I would re-arrange.  But it is up to you!

    Post # 12
    46675 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Firework:  Speaking a a mom who has travelled with her kids, I would rather take a long flight with a 4 month old than a one year old.

    Post # 13
    963 posts
    Busy bee

    As a parent my only concern will be immunization. My children are adults now so I don’t remember at what age they are fully immunized/protected.




    I just looked up the ages –  he may have a valid reason for picking 6 months.





    • HBV: Hepatitis B vaccine; recommended to give the first dose at birth, but may be given at any age for those not previously immunized.

    1-2 months

    • HBV: Second dose should be administered 1 to 2 months after the first dose.

    2 months

    • DTaP: Diphtheria, tetanus, and acellular pertussis vaccine

     Hib: Haemophilus influenzae type b vaccine


    • IPV: Inactivated poliovirus vaccine


    • PCV: Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine


    • Rota: Rotavirus vaccine

    4 months

    • DTaP


    • Hib


    • IPV


    • PCV


    • Rota

    6 months

    • DTaP


    • Hib


    • PCV


    • Rota: This third dose may be needed, depending on the brand of vaccine used in previous immunizations.

    Post # 14
    8692 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would stick to your original plan, because there’s still no guarantee they will even be comfortable travelling once the baby is a little older.

    Post # 15
    963 posts
    Busy bee

    Sorry for long post – it spread out.

    But again even if the baby is fully immunized there is not guarantee they will come.

    Post # 16
    5660 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would do what you need to do for your wedding. Your family and friends can then make their own decisions regarding wether they can attend or not. if you keep trying to arrange it to make everyone else happy you will always have someone who wants you to change it. 

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