(Closed) My Own Deadline Approaching (Long)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@CurlyDreamer: good luck with your conversation tonight.
this is something that you need to get out on the table because it is not fair to have a deadline in mind that you dont share with him.

If you feel he doesnt understand how important it is to you that an engagement happen soon then you need to explain this to him (in a calm and loving way, not it in a what the heck is taking you so long way) Then sit back and give him the chance to make it right.

 

Post # 4
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

@CurlyDreamer: Good luck, I hope everything works out great. It sounds like you have thought things through really well and are prepared… GOOD FOR YOU. It’s nice that you know what you want and are willing to be so honest with him about it.

Definitely keep us updated and let us know how things go!!!

Post # 7
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@CurlyDreamer: I hear you for sure on wanting to make sure that this is something he wants to do rather than something you have forced him to do.  I think a lot of waiting bees can relate to that dilemma. Personally, I struggled with this while waiting too.

I think a good talk tonight is in line, just put it all out there. 🙂

You just sent him the CL ring picture the other day right?  Give each one of you to explain where you are coming from. Then the choices are pretty simple. 1) accept that he just doesn’t believe in marriage 2) give him time to change his mind and if he doesn’t than you have to accept it or move on.

Wishing you the best of luck tonight, I hope it’s a productive and honest conversation. )hugs(

Post # 8
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Well you are in the same situation as me.  I had the talk and told my SO either you want to marry or you don’t.  If you don’t please let me know because that is only fair.  I want to be married and have children.  If you don’t that is fine just don’t string me along anymore.  I have an internal timeline of V-day for him to decide.  I’m hoping and wishing for a V-day proposal but if that does not happen and I’m not going to get my hopes up too high then I want an answer right then and there.  I think that it is great that you are striving for what you want in life.  That is what I’m doing now.  Good luck with you conversation.  I hope that both our SO’s figure it out soon.

Post # 9
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Good for you!~ I am glad you are taking this step to getting your power back in this whole waiting fiasco. I hope the conversation goes well whenever you do have it and he follows up shortly however it is going to be.

Post # 10
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Go get him! Your plan is perfect. Your deadline makes sense and he needs to hear it. Let us know what happened please?

Post # 11
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

After going to New York last summer for our seventh anniversary and after a very dissapointing trip to Tiffany’s I gave my boyfriend a deadline. I told him that I want to get married and I want to get married to him. We’re both 28 and if he doesn’t want what I want then he needed to tell me so that I could move on. I told him I wanted him to think about it and to give me an answer by the end of the year. I waited, and waited and waited… he proposed on New Years Eve! 🙂

I completely agree with what you’re thinking. I think guys just wait for as long as humanly possible just to make us crazy. I hope everything works out for you.

Post # 13
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Any updates, CurlyDreamer?

Post # 15
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think your joke ruined it. You have every right to be upset. He wants you to be there and deal with his issues and look at new places, but he can’t be committed in marriage? I would be pissed and frustated too! You should sit him down and tell him how you feel and have the talk you want to have. You deserve at least that!

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