- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
I started to write some of this on another thread, but didn’t want to hijack. However, now I feel like I would like to have my own little vent.
We have been engaged (with a date set the whole time) for 2 years. We knew and told everyone from day one when our wedding would be.
On month ago my stepbrother and his girlfriend got engaged and decided to have their wedding 2 weeks before mine (Oct. 16).
It wasn’t a big deal at first. They were planning on going to jamaica and having a private beach ceremony with jusy my dad and stepmom and their siblings (not steps), so at first it didn’t mean I even had another wedding and shower I had to go to.
My dad asks if I can meet them (FSSIL (future step sister in law) and stepmom and stepsister for her to try on dresses. Not a big deal, because I love SYTTD and thought it would be another chance to see someone else try on dresses. My dad tells me not to talk about out wedding at all, or my dress so that she doesn’t get upset that she is having a smaller wedding. I respect his request, BUT then she asks to see a pic of my dress, and I show her.
She says, “Oh, I wish I could have a princess dress like that.”
Next thing I know, I get a call a few days later, saying jamaica is cancelled, because she wants to do it locally so she can have a bigger dress ?!?
Ok so now it’s local (read: in the same state) so now it means I have another wedding and shower to go to right before mine. Still not a huge deal, but I’m a little busy right now, and will be especially busy at the time/date of her shower and wedding. Sept. 18 (her shower). Sept 25 (my shower). October 16 (her wedding) October 30 (my wedding)
Meanwhile, I don’t see them enough to even talk about my wedding, but now she has seen my book, etc. And she already knew about our venue (farm/barn)
She is lucky to find a venue on short notice and books it.
But then my dad calls and says she has changed her mind. She cancels with the venue she was lucky enough to get and now books on a famr/barn. (Not a big deal, but I am starting to think she is taking some inspiration from the wedding I’ve been planning for two years.
This week, my dad called and asked for the wording on my invitations and rsvp cards. We have an automatic-reply e-mail address set up to auto respond to rsvps with need to know information. He also askes me how we set that up.
The next day he calls me and asks me to proof her invitations and rsvp cards and they are word for word the same, and also the same basic layout. She even has an e-mail address set up at gmail to autoreply. Her e-mail address there is the same as ours. IE Ours is [email protected] and hers is the same.
He also mentions they’ve decided to do their music the same as ours, only they are having my brother decide their playlists. He then proceeds to ask what we are doing for ceremony music. I tell him a friend is playing guitar but don’t mention somgs or anything. (thank GOD)
I understand I get (and only want) 1 day. HOWEVER, while I am in the midst of the most stressful part of my planning I now have to answer all her questions (though my dad), plus she has taken the wording from our invitations (which we put a lot of thought into) and rsvp cards, and countless other ideas she has stolen directly from our wedding, and she will be getting married first.
If we had more of an overlap in guest lists it would look like I copied her. But thankfully there’s only a few, and my invitations have been sent out a month ago. Hers still aren’t sent out at all.
So anyone will see that she has taken our ideas verbatum at least on the invites. But other things maybe not.
I’m not looking for sympathy. I don’t want to have the whole month of October to myself, but I don’t want to spend my time when I should be blissfully planning and attending my showers to now go to her showers, plan her inviations, proof them, and answer all her questions (again through my dad) because she decided to plan a wedding on atwo month notice, and I’ve been planning for 2 years.
I’m just stressed, you know, and this adds another layer to that. Now I am trying to not even tell my dad any of our ideas because I am afraid she will snatch them up. And I don’t want to seem like a whiny bride, so I don’t say anything, but it kind of hurts to know my mom and I have put so much work into everything (my dad has had zero involvement in planning or paying), and she just takes it and gets the benefit of our creativity without having to do any thinking/planning herself.
Sorry guys, just needed to write it down.